Where Is Your Stick Family?

I loved this plate, 
that was attached to this mini van, 
that was parked in the rec. center's parking lot today.
I loved it so much, that I was willing to share it's picture with a BYU sticker.


I really like the people that own this van.
Well, I don't know these people personally, 
but I think I would like them just for the fact that they found humor in their rabbit humpin' and the abundance of their reproductions.
This is the first time I actually WANTED to see the family of stick figures on the back window!!!
They have me very curious as to what "2MNYKIDS" means to them.
2? 4? 6? 8?
God said we shall procreate!


I want to drive a bitchin', two seater, '69 convertible Camero, with a plate reading, "WEPULOT",  indicating that we have no children.
But I won't because I'm not a liar....
just a dreamer some days.


(Can you tell by my animosity that Jax has been a total a-hole...
with a CAPITOL A and a  BIG HOLE!


Riv still makes me smile tho...thank God!
I will give him a seat in the bitchin' Camero.


Jax will be given a seat in the mini van with all the "2MNYKIDS" for a reality check!  
spoiled, spoiled spoiled brat!


thanks for letting me vent....
being brutally honest sometimes helps me through the tough times.
hoping tomorrow.... 
and years of tomorrows to be better)

Ancient Chinese Caca PooPoo

I love tea.

I drink it year round, but I have an extra cup or two in the winter eves.

I believe in the healing power of the tea leaf and enjoy the distinct flavors and natural additions combined to make a tasty 'bag o' love' in my mouth.

BUT LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR!!!

I love bags of tea....

NOT  being tea bagged!!!!

My favorite brand is Yogi.

I have yet to find a Yogi type that I didn't enjoy.

The added benefit to Yogi teas, are the beautiful mantras that you are presented with at the end of each bagged string.

I find myself looking forward to my 'daily fortune'.

It's amazing how the power of words can change your attitude or your presence in life.

I have another brand that I like to dabble in. 

Triple Leaf Tea.

It's flavor is smooth and delightful.

The only thing I thought it was lacking compared to the Yogi brand, was my papered words of encouragement.

 The 'Detox' is great after a weekend of over indulgence.

(Offered in Yogi brand too)

This stuff is better than a Tylenol PM with no added side effects.

Randy and I have made a night time ritual of a 'Relaxing' cup of tea before bed.

(also good and avail in Yogi brand)

But my Triple Leaf confidence came to an end today.

After many a night of insomnia, 

my body transforming into a midnight sweating inferno, 

and  add hormonal body aches, 

I bought this 'Women's Tonic' tea thinking it would be my cure all to my every womanly ailment!!!

It has DONG QUAI for hell's sakes!!!

(WTF is Dong Quai?!?!? 
 Is he a brother to Long Duck Dong?)

Let me just tell you that......

I would rather put a shit stick dipped in feathers, and sprinkled with toe jam in my mouth, before I drink another cup of hate like this again!!!!

Damn you Chinese for making me think I can abuse my body and then drink a yummy concoction of herb to heal my 

self inflicted punishment.

I no believe your word anymore Sensei.  

You betray my trust.  

You give me drink in my mouth that taste like turd. 

Don't count on me for anymore suckee suckee five buckee !

OHHHHHH! who am I fooling?

I still suckee suckee for five buckee but NOT for Don Quai. 

 He no help me and he got a nasty taste.

Ancient Chinese Caca PooPoo!

Prostituting "A's"?

After many conversations,

 beggings, 

and debates, 

River and I came to an agreement that he would get paid for his A's and B's on his report card.

I didn't really have a stance on how I felt about "paying for grades", before he and I's business meeting, but my first reaction for some reason was always "NO!"

River was a great attorney presenting his case,  and I, being the jury, was swayed to agree with his defense.

"Mom! I work very hard to do my homework and study for tests.  

I go to school everyday, and have H's  in citizenship in all my classes.  

This is my job right now.  

How about if I take half of what I earn and put it in my college fund?  

It's like, if I work hard now, I will benefit from it later."

Well, how the hell do you argue with that?

Or am I just not a good prosecutor???

My hopes is that he is proud of his efforts and feels that there is a payoff and acknowledgment for hard work and responsibility.

And, ya never know.....maybe he will get a scholarship with the grades he strives to keep high for payment, and then he and I can use his college fund for a great vaca!!!!!

WIN-WIN if you ask me!

What are your feelings about paying for grades???

Lick you up at 6

A girls night on the town was well over due.

In fact, I don't think we've actually done one since my birthday,

LAST FEBRUARY!!!

I know!!! 

 What is wrong with us?!?!?

I mean, we've had many 'couples' nights and quite a few 'garage girls nights', but there is nothing like getting all gussied up and hitting the pavement with your entourage of gals in heels.

Lisa's upcoming birthday was a very good reason to celebrate......

and let me tell you!!!!

Celebrate is what we did!!!

I could predict the way the evening would go since I had already started the day with one of those messed up texts.

The kind that the smart phone over rides what you really wanted to say...

I texted Lisa that afternoon with the GNO deets:

"Hey girl!!!  So excited for tonight!  It's gonna be waaaay freakin' fun.

I will lick you up at 6"

"Hi, It's me again.....

I meant that I will PICK you up at 6!!! 
 I don't think we need to be licking each other.  

Stupid phone!"

So as you can see.....we were well on our way with the giggles and demented minds!

We all love to try new venues, and since the Zy Restaurant was a new one for all of us, I didn't hesitate to make the rez for 7:15.

It's downtown location (a block away from the evenings destined bar) was an added bonus!!!!

The birthday girl was looking gorgeous and radiant as usual.

The restaurant had a nice wine list that accommodated us sharing a couple bottles of yummy red.

We paired our drinks with a cheese selection.

Every girl's tastes were different as to what their favorite flavor was.

It was a great starter to our wonderful meals.

(introducing all of the lovely ladies of the evening:

Lynsie, Paula, Carrie, Lisa, and you know who)

 We chose to have a cup of french pressed coffee as our dessert.

The service was tops, and  the company was divine.

Zy Restaurant.....give it try.

ROUND 2

DING DING DING!

Our next gathering hoorah for the evening was scheduled to be at The Keys on Main which was exactly one block away from the Zy.  The beautiful weather allowed us to walk to the bar.....but NOT without a stop along the way.

KUTV News was broadcasting live with the city streets as it's backdrop.

Paula texted Jay D to tell him to watch the news to see if we were on it....

We weren't very hopeful because we couldn't see ourselves [on the big screen] standing behind Brian Mullahy as he read the teleprompter.

We proceeded to dance like freaks...

.ie:  the running man, the roger rabbit, and swinging an invisible rope to lasso the girls and pull them in....that one was my move!

We also noticed a fuzzy thing on Brian Mullahy's jacket.  It was on the left side on top of his shoulder pad. It was driving us nuts, so we pretended to be picking it off of him secretly.

Lisa commented on what dorks we all are because nobody is going to be home on a Saturday night watching the stupid news!!!!

Well, what do ya know?!?!?

Jay D said he saw us, and Paula's son was wondering what she was doing staring at him through the TV.

Lisa got a text from Odum asking, 

"was that you and Jolie on the news?"

So the moral of the story is:

You are never alone.....

someone is always watching, so be good for goodness sake!

Once we were in the piano bar and the music was running through our veins, we chose to celebrate Lisa's birthday by drinking her birthday cake!

These little lovelies tasted like chocolate cake....well, kind of.

Not really, but we shot them down our throats anyway.

Which helped start the picture extravaganza love fest :)

After many drinks, shaking our money makers, and singing songs to each other (I think the above picture is "touching hands" by Neil Diamond), we called upon our men to pick our drunk asses up and safely drive us home.

Our menz.....

the pimps in our ride.

(boy Jay....that nose hair wax really came in handy!)

Awe :) Lyns  lubs her hubs 

And the rest of us showed our D.D. appreciation to Jay too.

I LOVE this picture!!!

Jay looks so happy :)

I'm not sure if it was the wine, the beers, the cake shots or the copper camel shots that made me say,

"OH! OH! Take our picture while I grab balls!"

Randy didn't mind so much.....

We considered it RD's taxi cab payment.

It was an evening of necessity for all of us.

I hope that I can speak for everyone when I say that the 12 hour, next day hangover was worth every minute of the good time put into it!

Happy Birthday Lisa my sweet friend.

How wonderful life is with you in the world :)

I'm your Bruce Lee

For those of you wide eyed with your jaw on the floor,

and swearing "Holy SHIT!" out loud in dismay.....

Let's just clear this up right now.

NO.....I'M NOT PREGNANT.

But this post is about the women who have miraculously transformed their bodies into a comfy place for a fetus to mature, and then birth a newborn into their first breaths of life.

Yesterday, while standing in line to sign up Jax for day camp, 

three little kids waited behind us patiently to pay for their admittance into camp.

The cashier told the trio that they would need an adult to check them in, or they couldn't participate for the day.

Prior to this, I watched the three kids get out of the vehicle that had brought them to the center, and it looked like the driver had no intention of leaving her car.

She didn't look as if she was feeling so good.

I was concerned that she had already left the parking lot,

"AND THEN WHAT THE HELL  DO WE DO WITH THESE ABANDONED KIDS????"

I was on my way out the door to try to catch the driver, when I see her walking waddling through the double doors.

She appologized for taking so long to make it into the building, but she was moving slowly this morning 

BECAUSE SHE WAS IN LABOR!!!!

Is this setting in for you yet?????

A LADY WAS GOING ABOUT HER DAY......

DRIVING, DROPPING OFF KIDS, AND ON HER WAY TO THE GROCERY STORE.....

ALL WHILE SHE IS IN LABOR!!!!

She told the cashier that this baby is FOR SURE coming today, but not until she gets her errands done, if she has anything to do with it!!!

And I believed her!!!

She had a lot of conviction in between contractions.

My point in this entire story/post, is that I am still in so much AWE of what a pregnancy and birthing entails for a woman.  The mental and physical change is astounding! 

But more so, the strength and courage is unfathomable to me.

I tell you what!?!?!?

If I conceived, grew a baby, then gave birth to a big headed thing through my hoo-haw,

it would be something I would be bragging about daily!!!

MARK MY WORD!!!!

AND!!!!

 I would expect you all to be bowing to me in amazement.

And by all....

I mean men.

I can not believe how understated the whole process is!

Men have noooooooo idea what uncomfortable and pain means.

And the fact that you birthing women DO NOT throw it in their face or kung fu their asses every time they whine about a little sniffle,

 is beyond me.

I can NOT think of one thing that would trump the baby process!!

Man: Hey, I have pneumonia, gingivitis, herpes, ingrown toenail, boils, cataracts, warts, arthritis, constipation, hemorrhoids, heart murmur, and erectile dysfunction.

Woman:  Hey, I had a baby

Man: 0 Woman: 1

Woman to Woman.....

If you ever decide to go Chuck Norris on a dude....

I would totally get your back and be your Bruce Lee :)

THAT is how much I think you women ROCK!!!

You should be memorialized in platinum and diamonds at the stoop of every door step for all to remember what bad-asses you are!!!

My utmost respect for you birthers!!!

I think you are amazing warriors.

(i am no man hater.....

just a woman that see's injustice!)

Pleasantville?

Do you think that it is considered "the norm" at all Starbucks, 

in every state, 

to keep the tip jar on the window ledge without any kind of  attention, lock, or chain attached?

Or is it just in Utah that Starbucks believe people are trustworthy?

And, are Utahn's trustworthy, 

because there just isn't enough time in the day to steal a cash cup,  

repent for the crime, 

and then have to repent again 

for secretly enjoying a venti double shot eggnog latte?

I'm serious

Do Starbucks all around the world

 trust their patrons like this???

S.H.I.T.

Riv had THE most fun telling me this joke.

I thought it was damn funny too.

Happy Thursday

Convo between a blonde and a brunette:

Blonde: T.G.I.F

Brunette:  S.H.I.T

T.G.I.F= Thank God It's Friday

S.H.I.T= Sorry Honey It's Thursday

:)

it could have been me....

The tragic story of Alexis Rasmussen has brought back memories of my own.
Alexis' story (that I have read from the news) and my personal experiences, have a similar body but a very different outcome.


I too babysat for a couple (let's call them Mr. and Mrs. Smith)  that were not moral and contributed to my bad choices as a teen.
The sick part, was that they were proud to encourage drug use between me and my friends while on the clock babysitting their two small children.
They paid me in home grown marijuana.
I in turn, shared with my lost-soul buddies.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith had a closet that held 4 large black garbage bags full of weed.
I was allowed to scoop out what I needed to get me by until the next babysitting gig.


Many times, Mr. and Mrs. Smith would come home separately with someone other than their spouse.
I would be asked to continue watching the children while they went to the back bedroom for their fling.  
I often speculated that this was something the Smith's did openly, and that they were both agreeable with the set-up. 
But it was definitely not something I was willing to bring up to the absent spouse.


There were two times that I can remember, that they asked me to come over to babysit, yet Mr. and Mrs. Smith didn't leave. 
They knew that all of my friends would come along too.....it's just what 'babysitting' entailed.
It would turn into a party, and I could tell that they got off on it.  They both enjoyed giving attention and light touches to the teens in the room.  It was all part of the "re-payment" of them supplying alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.


I babysat countless times, and I can only remember snippets of the Smith children (what a sad statement).  I have one haunting memory that, to this day, I have a hard time forgiving myself for.
It was a nice summer evening.  Me and the pot-head gang were outside with the Smith kids playing in the yard.  We were swinging the kids around and one of the kids' wrists was hurt.  I called Mr. and Mrs. Smith to tell them that there was a problem.  They told me to give the child Benadryl and put her to bed.  
The toddler cried herself to sleep in my arms.
The Smith's had no compassion or parental conscience for their children.
Apparently my parents didn't either.  
My step mother [mother #3], was either partying along with the Smith's or purchasing her cocaine/weed from them.  
Mother #3 also enjoyed partying with my teenage friends. I think she believed she was in love with one of my guy friends, and showed jealousy when his girlfriend was around.
I have no recollection where or what my dad was doing, as he could probably say the same about his own daughter.


I was 15.
It could have been me.....
I could have been Alexis.
Somehow, I survived many sketchy circumstances.
I don't know why...but I did.


There are adults that prey upon the youth to be the first to take away their  innocence, and then there are adults that  just don't give enough shit to protect their children from evil.


I'm beside myself in disgust.
Especially looking into childhood stories [of my own and others] with my now parenting/adult eyes.

warm my house....warm my heart

We had a house warming get together on Saturday.

My heart was filled with joy  to see our friends that we hold dear and love, spending their evening in support of us.

Thanks to all who came and shared in laughs, ping pong, drinks, food, and stories from the past.

My love and gratitude to you all!!

Muah!

Photo album to follow.

Unfortunately, we didn't get pics of some of our guests to include in this post.

I wasn't on my normal "snapshot" game that eve.

Thanks Paula for being the responsible picture taker and sending them to me :)