"OMG!!! Get it out of here!"

It's 3 am, we are driving Amie to the SLC Amtrak station to chuga chuga choo choo back to Grand Junction

 [more on our supa fun visit later].

Randy is behind the wheel, Amie is in the front passenger seat, and Ms. Daisy and I are in the back seat like the ugly step children.

Daisy starts to pant in quick breaths.

Then the shaking and trembling comes on.

As if we didn't notice her panic attack, she climbs on my back trying to get my attention!

I roll down the window thinking she is in a state of......................

hell, I had no idea what state that old broad was in!!!

We all were confused and worried when she tried to use my back as a spring board and do a double forward back handspring triple axle out the window!!!!!!

I grabbed her collar, and yelled a few swear words, and got her gripping claws off of my body.

I directed her back to her original seat and told Randy,

"I think she needs to poop.  

Pull over!  

Like, really!  

Pull over!"

And.

 then.

 it.

 happened.

Daisy looked at me with wide eyes and fear as she

BEARED DOWN and took a heaping pile of shit on my seat!!!!!

Let that sink in for a moment before I go on.

dog

poop

car

reek

panic

confused

seat

poop

poop

poop

Ya know, one embarrassing dog poop story should be enough in a persons life time!

[remember the story of "I kicked a turd"?  see it here]

But NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm so awesomely shitty, 

that I get two!

As I am trying to keep Daisy from doing a sit and spin in her doggie  dookey, Amie is frantically trying to find me a napkin so I can get rid of the steamy stench.

Amie and Randy are yelling,

"OMG!!!  Get it out of here!"

I responded with,

"I can't do it!  I just can't do it!" 

as I am holding back the pukes and trying not to breath.

I understood our stank-urgency, so I woman-ed up, quickly got my girl-balls under me and aggressively went in for the pile drive.

I was grabbing a turd and chucking it out the window as fast as I could!!!

After the fourth handful of pooh disposed on the streets of SLC,  I wafted the unpleasant air inside the car straight to the outside with a fan like motion of my cupped, kibbles-n-bits-crap scented hands.

Daisy felt much better and had a calmed sense of relief.

[really????!! ya think?!?!]

She then laid down and had continual snores for the remainder of the drive.

Once back at home and parked in the garage, Randy brought to my attention that the poop I threw out the window followed us home!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!?!?

DOGDAMMIT!