LiLo's big shovel

I was looking forward to watching SNL to see how they were going to try to pull off the "come back" of  Lindsay Lohan.

With Jack White as the musical guest, I really couldn't avoid the temptation.

Just when you thought she couldn't hit that all time low; 

sugah got low low low low low low low low!

She looked like a bag of smashed assholes, 

forgot her lines,

 then couldn't even read them correctly off of the cue cards!  

What was supposed to be humorous skits poking fun of herself for the sake of our laughter,  

turned into an annoying D-list actress digging harder with her  'lack of reality' shovel to hit the earth's core!

So sad!

I only stuck around long enough to watch Jack White perform.

I know Jack looks bizarre with his intentional pale skin , red eyes, and straw-mopped hair......

but something about him turns my crank!!!

I think it's because of his amazing talent in song writing and the passion he shows as he sings his lyrics and kicks ass on a guitar.

AND!!!!  He has an all female band for this song!!!

The dude is cool!

I had heard the song "Love Interrupted" on the radio last week and was automatically 
"in crush" with it.   

After seeing the performance I am now "in love".

I realized that I have a lust for songs that are dirty.  

I'm not necessarily talking about the lyrics being x-rated.

I'm talking about dirt in the tone of the voice, 

the depth of the guitar riffs that I can feel through my body, 

and the passion of who it is coming from needs to sound of

 gravel and pain and love and truth.

ahhhhh.....I heart music. 

Love Interrupted

My new crush, lust, love!!!!

[m.i.l:  you won't understand me liking this one either. 

 i will find one some day that we can agree on :)]

In honor of Whitney....ok, not really.

Chris Cornell did this Whitney Houston cover.

Finally!!!! 

It took Chris to make me like something from Whitney!!!

(actually I liked Dolly Parton's  original version of this song too)

I appreciate Whitney's talent, but I place her right next to X-tina Fuguilera.

The OVER THE EFFIN TOP voice ladders along with the finger beats on the microphone,  the acceptance of her drug addictions and her crazy outbursts are more annoying than music to my ears.

I invite hate mail if you feel the need.

If you knew the week  that I have had.....

hate mail would be one of the sugary highlights!!!

And yes....maybe I'm taking out my wrath on a dead Whitney.

[May she rest in peace in whackadoo heaven]

.....but if you still have to vent your Whitney anger toward me,

Go ahead, 

Make my day!!!!

but first...enjoy Chris Cornell :)

And I will always love you.

p.s.  I'm thinking some good ol' rock-n-roll bands should do more covers from these bubble gum singers!!!

The words take on a different context when it comes from a long haired, raspy voiced, acoustic playing butt rocker!!!

I like the taste of that kind of context better.

It's soul food to me.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Seal and Heidi are calling it quits???

Awe man!

I love them both.

I was always intrigued by the stories of their fun marriage, 

their crazy-assed sexcapades, 

the renewal of their vows yearly, 

and the fact that they are so beautifully "black and white" on the outside and the inside.

Have you seen how gorgeous their kids are?!?!?

This is so sad.

I hate hearing of break ups!

Even if it's with my movie star friends, 

that I've never met.

{Too much grease in the Axl}

In honor of Halloween....

I'm going to show you something veeeeeeery scaaaaaary!!!

Are you ready???

But before I can show you the horror, I have to ask this question,

When did this Axl Rose (above), get to this unrecognizable point?!?!?

(see below if you are brave enough)

This aint no trick.....

and apparently it aint no treat either!!!

WTFat Axl????

I think we can group Axl and Christina Gagulara together in the intervention/detox program!!!

I'm sure that they would be great roomies!  They could try to out-scream/sing each other and trade hair weave secrets.

{what hope do the rest of us have?}

"Lets all stop speculating about Ashton and Demi.  We have no idea what they are going through...... 

aside from puberty and menopause."

~Joan Rivers

ok...I have to admit,

I went through a stage of obsession regarding the saga of Ashton and Demi.

I'm pretty much over it now....

t'was a short lived celeb obsession.

But I do have one question:

If Demi Moore can't keep a guys attention....

then what hope do we as commoners have?

I mean....

IT'S DEMI MOORE for sexy's sake!

She is the poster child of age reversal and 

what we all aspire as 40-somethings to look like.

(I have a strange feeling she could be a bit whack-a-do tho?!?!)

It makes me just want to end the fight I have with age,

 and wave the white flag proudly while 

I wear a moo-moo 

and house slippers, 

without make-up, 

with wrinkles forming daily, 

and accenting with a grey bun-head.

How effin depressing!

{intervention}

Really Christina?

Really?

I don't even know where to start this intervention.

I guess we can start with the bad nappy-assed weave.

Girl! 

get it off yo head!!!!

And then when you do, get some Moroccan oil from Sally's, condition the shit out of what you've got left, and start over!!!  YIKES! That bleached out tumbleweed scares the livin' shit out of me..... and most small children and animals!  

With the exception of birds because they think it is a wonderful nest.

And then we have the alcohol bloat 

(you have got to stop doing beer bongs girl!)

 and the bad leotards that end at the top of your thighs......

those only work on Beyonce and 6 year old girls in ballet!

poor thing....

she's just a mess!

Hopefully she will keep up on the dental hygiene because we don't need another Lindsay Lohan periodontal tragedy!

She is the poster child for:

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO DRUGS".

very sad

Footnote:  after I posted this, I realized that the picture of Christina and myself (to the right) look quite similar!

hmmmmm....maybe I need to turn the intervention mirror on myself?

something to thing about...especially when being critical of others.