A week ago Monday at 12:30 in the afternoon,
I received a call from Randy that he was on his way home.....
and he had 'my kid' with him.
Although I didn't know the details behind this phone call,
I knew what the statements meant.
1~ Jax had gotten in trouble at school and Randy was called to intervene
2~ Randy was so effin pissed about the situation, that Jax was now 'my kid'
[we throw around the, 'he's your kid' if they are little shits....
and of course 'he totally comes from my side of the family'
when great accomplishments and proud moments are involved.
we like to give them valid reasons to see a psychiatrist when they grow up to bitch about childhood traumas of how me and their father fucked them up.]
Randy walked through the door with a look of defeat and disappointment.
He was done with Jax and his attitude.....
If you asked Randy in that moment, he would have said that he was
done forever....
hence the reason Jax was exiled to the cold garage to live, sleep and polish tools as a learning lesson.
Later that evening, Randy finally let* Jax into the house to have a warm shower and bed.
*let=me telling Randy I will not have 'my kid' sleep in a cold garage.
Randy's anger and willingness to consider signing Jax over to the state foster program,
was brought on by
Jax being expelled from school.
"WTF Jax?!?!?
Seriously!?!
You are that fucked up that you had to be expelled from school???"
Yeah, that was my question...
I'm not a total dumb-ass.
I've lived with this kid for almost 12 years....
I already knew the fuckupedness in his young mind without needing to question it.
But having to ask that question to your child makes you re-evaluate your parenting abilities and try not to let the embarrassment and shame blanket your entire being.
I had another emotion of wanting to just punch him right square in the nose.
I used my self control on that one....
lucky for him.
This is the story of Jax being expelled from the 5th grade:
Jax has a kid in his class that is kerosene to Jax's torch.
[we will refer to that kid as K-sene for the rest of this story]
They don't work well together and have had issues of throwing negative words to each other in the past.
On this particular Monday, K-sene would not get out of Jax's face. He was asked by Jax to leave him alone and Jax moved to another work area. K-sene grew more thrilled with the fact that he was getting to Jax, and then started repeating "Jax, Jax, Jax" until Jax finally went to the teacher to ask for help. The teacher told K-sene to put his head down and leave Jax alone. K-sene used that opportunity to taunt one last time before
Jax took a sharpened pencil to K-sene's head and told him that he was going to kill him.
Threatening to kill someone is a big NO-NO!!
It's a NO-NO in life...
let-a-lone a state funded school with a no tolerance policy!
Jax was immediately taken to the principal's office and Randy was called to come pick him up.
We were informed that there would be a district "hearing" to determine the future of Jax's education.
One week and three days later, we attended the hearing.
It was recorded that four district leaders,
Jax's principal,
the school psychologist,
Randy, myself, and Jax were present.
They started the meeting by explaining to Jax that this is his opportunity to tell his side of the story.
He told his story 'as matter of fact' in the way it happened.
He was very respectful, held back tears, and was commended on his delivery.
It was now Randy and I's time to spew
Jax's history, our concerns, our wants, and our opinions.
I took the mic. and was brutally honest with the panel regarding my son's behaviors leading up to this day.
I told of his rage,
his defiance,
his verbal and physical abuse toward me and River,
and his lack of accountability.
I knew that this was my golden ring opportunity to assist our future.
I wanted my voice to be heard
with complete raw emotion.
I was on my knees with beg.
I humbly asked for guidance and help from the district that is needed outside of school hours since our personal insurance doesn't cover mental health.
ie: counseling, behavior classes, etc.
I also asked for forgiveness from his principal,
and a chance for Jax to attend his school again.
The board was very kind and sympathetic to our requests,
but was very stern when talking to Jax.
They said that they would give us a decision by the end of the day.
The director explained that the decision could be one of three things:
1~ he could be transferred to another school with transportation provided
2~ he could be home schooled with a teacher from the district that would come into our home for two hours a week
3~ he could be put in a restrictive environment for behaviorally challenged children which includes padded rooms.
I only had to wait on pins and axes for two hours before I got the phone call.
The director started his explanation of the decision by saying.
"after great consideration,
the board has agreed to help your family in every way that they can."
The principal fought to have Jax come back to the school and will set a new schedule that is personally detailed for Jax.
He starts back on Friday.
The director said that they have never done this before.
They are making
an exception
to the rule
for Jax.
"In all cases where a life has been threatened,
the offender will by law,
be transferred away from the victim."
This rule will not apply to Jax.
The principal let the board know, that K-sene is fine and has no post trauma from the incident.
He also felt like Jax was provoked by K-sene,
and with the correct teachings of how to deal with annoying people,
that Jax would succeed and be a great student.
They continued to go along the outside of rule boundaries
by giving Jax a psychological intake and unlimited counseling combined with anger management classes.
We ended the conversation with me thanking him with all the appreciation I could relay,
and the director expressing complete support for our family.
He told me that I could call him any time I felt that we needed further assistance, and he would do his best to get it for us.
The gift of help offered along with my gratitude, overwhelmed me with tears.
The story of Jax repeats itself through the years.
Some details getting more severe,
and others getting more manageable.
One thing that has been a constant,
is my anxiety and concern for the future.....
And then an 'exception to the rule' comes along to save our asses.
In turn, we see that we are not alone,
there are very good compassionate people to listen,
and that help is out there......
if you are only brave, honest, and humble enough to ask for it.
