Slapping out the tempo

My secret talent wish is to be able to walk in heels taller then 2 inches without looking like Frankenstein took over my lower body.

Nothing is worse than seeing a gal 'trying' to walk normal in a pair of stilettos, 

yet has a large gapped, 

side to side strut,

 with a heel-toe slapping out the tempo

keeping perfect rhythm with the song on the radio-O-O.

[throwin' in a lil' eddie rabbit for you old timers]

My lack of talent while walking in Jimmy Choo's is totally ruining my style control.  

Do you have any idea of the rockin, kick-ass outfits I could put together with a pair of CFM boots???

I feel like I have a fashion disability, and that I should be given mercy from my insurance company OR the fashion police, 

with a certificate for free Botox in my foot balls!

AND while we are at it,

 I could use some in my forehead.....

and armpits.

Please.

[just putting that out there to the fashion Gods]

And to all of you that CAN walk in barbaric 6 inchers.....

you are not human,

and you will be given the Indian name, 

'bitch-who-walk-on-sticks'

 from here on out.

jealousy brings out the best worst in me.






{before I looked up the words to "driving my life away" from eddie rabbit, 
i thought the song said,
"flappin' at the 10-4,
keeping perfect rhythm with the song on the radio"
geez!...all these years singin' the wrong lyrics!}