MOM!! What are you doing?!?!

For the first time in my life [that I can actually remember], 

I sleep walked.

It was 11:30 pm and I had been to sleep for about a half hour.

I was in one of those realms that I didn't feel asleep, only that many thoughts were going through my mind.

In a panic attack, I flung the sheets back and jumped out of bed thinking that I was the only one home and I had forgotten to close the garage. [Randy was laying right next to me the whole time but I swear the bed looked empty on his side!]

I ran out of my room, past the couches and the office.

Nearing the door to the garage I hear, "MOM!!  What are you doing?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and nervously replied, "I'm alone and need to close the garage."

River was standing in front of me at this point and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Mom, are you okay?  You're scaring me."

I remember blinking and realizing my surroundings.

I looked at Riv with a blank stare, shook my head, and said, "I don't know what's wrong with me.  I think I just sleep walked."  Then I slowly made my way back to bed without saying another word.

I've seen my children sleep walk, and also heard of personal stories of people throwing mattresses on their spouse and people actually leaving their homes without remembering doing it.

I always wondered how a person could be in such a dimension of  dreaming that your body acts upon the story without consciousness.

After experiencing it myself, I can say it is fahreekin weird and scary.

Sleep walkers rule #1:  Always wear something to bed that is appropriate for the world to see, because you never know when the sandman will fool you with his magic angel sleep dust!

Nobody wants to see a  bed-headed sleepwalker zombie-ing around with their junk hangin out!

P.S.  The next night [and it felt like ALL night!] I'm pretty sure Daisy and I had a conversation through telepathy.

Something is toying with my brain as I try to sleep.

No wonder insomnia is prevalent in my nights!

I'm frightened of what will become once I do start getting some ZZZZZ's!!!!!

Old and lame and unbaked

It seems as if I have perma onion breath when it comes to talking to Riv these days.

I bring up a topic of discussion, and he backs away with a sneer.  

My ideas and humor is lost on him.

Sometimes I will get a pity chuckle out of him, but most times my stories are received as if he isn't even listening.

I'm a bit rusty on the 'teen' language considering it's been 20++ years since I've been one.

And God knows, the lingo I used back in my day is archaic compared to the comprehension of the 21st century teen these days.

I tried to tell Riv of  a near death experience 

[near death might be a bit dramatic, just go with it]

and how grateful I am to be alive, home, and 

NOT a cooked hot dog!!!!

Still.......[caw, caw in the distance] 

nothing but open aired silence from him.

I'm like,

 "DUDE!! 

Did you hear me???

The Wendover fun-bus I was riding on caught fire!

Smoke was everywhere

 and we were all evacuated on the side of the road!!!

I could have come out looking baked like the 

'New Jersey tanning mom!'

HELLO!?!? 

[knock, knock on his head]

Riv, are you there? 

Here, I will say it again only louder,

YOUR MOTHER was on a bus full of oxygen tanks and drunk people that 

WAS ON FIRE!"

Does that not mean anything to you???"

Does my life NOT mean anything to you????????????

Why are you not listening to me?

How many times do I need to say

 'FIRE' and 'YOUR MOTHER' 

in the same sentence before you understand the gravity of this??!?"

River's reply:

"I'm interested......I just don't want to ask details because I know you're just gonna tell me a bunch of stuff I really don't care about."

Those were his EXACT words!!!

It only took a few minutes of my manipulating silence and the cold shoulder for Riv to come up and hug me and say, 

"Sorry mom, I really do want to hear about your fire experience."

My reply:

"I love you.  

That's all you need to know"

Poor kid having to deal with such lame parents!

I'm getting him this book.

**BTW: no one was hurt in the bus fire and we made it home with only panic attacks and a crazy story to tell.

It was a FULL moon......

Weird things happen.