I truly know that I was not the ideal catch most mothers would be proud of their son to bring home and introduce to the family.
I've talked about this before,
but I will remind you all that I was only 17 when Randy and I met.
We came from different worlds.
Randy had a Christian upbringing with both parents still in tact in their conservative home.
Up until a couple years before we met, Randy was still playing with Tonka trucks and riding bicycles with his friends to see car shows and grab a Slurpee.
The epitome of a straight-laced innocent boy.
By 17 I had already been through three step moms
and a birth mother that moved as far away from me to not have any parental responsibility;
a father who worked strange hours, loved women and made bad choices to which his children paid dearly for.
I had experienced drug induced highs, alcohol, and sex.
I barely graduated high school yet managed to have enough character to be dedicated to a sales job at JC Penney.
I was full of piss-n-vinegar, eyeliner, immaturity, short skirts, big earrings, and Aqua Net.
Other than being able to afford a better hairspray these days,
I am still most things on that list.
I know my mother in law continues at times to have concern and worry about her son's decision.
Out of all the fish in the sea....he brought home a carp.
24 years later, I am still a carp but hide it in pink salmon clothing to blend into a different class that is upstream.
Sometimes I can pull it off.
Most of the time, I don't want to pull it off.
I like being a stinky bottom of the lake eater.
I like my trucker mouth.
I like my crude humor.
I like beer.
I like my edgy outfits.
I like my choice in music....even if it is offensive to others.
I like being me!
Even though I am a bit on the kooky side of life,
I will give myself credit that I am a good wife and mother....
in spite of my upbringing.
The older I get, the more I realize that being true to myself is what brings me the most security and confidence and peace to our family.
Thank you to my friends and fam that enjoy trash fish too :)
You make me feel accepted.
My mother-in-law and I have many ideas that are on the opposite end of the spectrum.
We both enjoy tea, coffee, writing, and gambling.
Beyond that, I would say that we have very different likes and have led our lives in the extreme of left wing/right wing contradiction of each other.
But even with the yin yang of our personalities, we have always loved each other and continue to learn how keep the difference gap to a minimum disruption.
The music and videos that I post on my blog are foreign to M.I.L, and painful for her to listen to.
I appreciate that she takes the time and patience to 'give it a try' even though she can probably predict that our tastes in music is almost un-meshable.
I had a goal to some day find a song or a melody that we both could find as beautiful.
M.I.L. left a comment regarding my last post on Jack White.
Many of you don't read the comments, so I wanted to present her words on my main page for you to take in.
Today I ate in the dining room with all the 'old folks'
A 40 something man led his mother to the piano
where they had often played duets together.
She is very frail and quite old.
He started but her hands fell to her lap.
He gently put her hands back on the keys and started playing.
[I'm crying as I write this].
I held my breath,
she slowly started then played more confidently
they played a few songs and he led her back to their table
while everyone applauded.
Now That was beautiful music.
M-I-L
To my mother-in-law......
It is you,
the wiser and more worldly of the two,
that has brought beautiful music that we both can cry over and feel it's effect on the soul.
Thank you.
I love you.
xoxo,
Your daughter- in- law the carp.
