Wherefore art thou Romeo

Chelise laid her beloved horse of 16 years down to rest yesterday.

You were a good boy Romeo.

Love you Chelise....It will be ok :)

A love to last forever,
To end, never, ever
A love, capable of ending all pain,
A passion not to be restrained
Romeo was all that was fair,
With a heart filled with burden to bear
His family warring with his sweetheart's,
Breaking both his and Chelise's hearts
Chelise was such a beauty, glowing like the moon,
A princess and an angel – a mixture that made you swoon
With her face, all would be enthralled,
And, especially to Romeo, her allure called
To seek her love, men came and went,
But in false lies, her heart wasn't fluent
She knew what she wanted, it was clear,
She wanted, for ever after, Romeo, her beloved dear.

Throat Punch

2013 Grand Valley Winery Association hosted the 11th annual 

"Barrel into spring" tasting.

The event was held for two days with eight wineries participating.

The cost was $70/person.

The admission fee included as much wine and food as your body could handle!

Due to unfortunate circumstances, my group of gals, and some of Amie's that had planned on making a girls weekend at wine fest, were unable to attend.

 [Each person got a passport.  But each passport was at a different location which made it difficult for a large group to individually gather their passports and meet up at a beginning point to enjoy the day together.  Also, the tasting sold out before anyone in our large group could get their tix :(     

So, a heads up! If you plan on going in 2014 get your tickets early and buy them at the same time so all of your passports are at the same location]

Chelise had booked a plane ticket and bought her passport in advance.

She was excited to meet Amie and try a new adventure in an all day wine extravaganza!

We arrived at Amie's casa Friday evening just in time for the horderves and amateur wine tasting game to begin!

Amie and friends had made up a beautiful smorgasbord of fruit, cheeses, meats, and dips for us to devour.

We each got a paper that taught us about the swirling, swishing and tasting of wines.

It was a hilarious experiment and surprising how each of us have different tastes.

Chelise thought everything tasted like a leather thong and sandalwood!

She coined the phrase "throat punch"!

[you can take the girl off the farm but you can never take her bud light taste buds in a different direction]

Saturday morning at 10:30 we hopped in Subee and ventured through Palisade Valley.

We were each given our passports along with a 2013 wine glass and set free to roam about the vineyards sampling good eats and varieties of wine.

We learned about pairings and the difference between aged, middle and new wines.

[Aged wine is the best of course, but if you don't have the money to spend you should always go with the 'middle child'.  It is a good compromise because the youngin' is not mature and a bit bitter.

It was so cool for my pallet to acknowledge the difference between a 2012, a 2009, and a 2007 merlot.  There really IS a difference!] 

[Jordan-Amie's daughter, Sonja, Chelise, Me, Amie]

After completing six out of eight wineries, IN ONE DAY, we downed a few pitchers of "dirty hippie' at a local brew pub.

A few hours later, we walked to a distillery to get these mason jars full of bloody mary love!

Over twelve hours of non-stop eating, drinking and gut wrenching laughing, we were in bed at 10:00 pm.

IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!

 Thanks Amie for putting up with our crazy asses!

Love you long time!

[Don't know why you were in non of the pics!?]

Insider:  DO YOU SEE A MAN IN THIS ROOM?!?!?!

OWEN!  OWEN!  Get her a man!

She's so smartical

Chelise went and done did herself smart.

Yes, she's a smartical, smarty pants with her earned associates degree in Business.

And she did it all with two kids, six cows, two horses, two goats, two pigs, a dog, a cat, a house, and a husband to take care of.

Proud of you einstein/wonder woman/cowgirl Chelise!

Now... if we can just get her a degree in sun-glass fashion!

This body was made for a resort

Disclaimer:  Please bare with me.

I haven't had a creative mind as of late, 

but I'm pushing myself to get back in the blogging saddle.

The wording in this post is a bit lame,

 but just read past my dumb words and enjoy the fab pics!!!!

xoxo

oh, one more thing....blogger is being an ass.  

I think it gave me some kind of STD.  

Weird highlights in this post just popped up on it's own and is not my doing.

Hopefully with a little antibiotics and time we will be clean again :)

It had been a year since my albino skin had felt the Arizona heat.

Within that year, two baby girls have been born, two tween girls have grown into their teeth and two lovely ladies have awaited my visit for one hell of a good time!!!!!

I arrived at the Phoenix International airport at 8:30 pm.

[the flight was a bitch to my arm.....

altitude, compression, and crying kids made it throb like an African drum]

As I stood at the top of the escalator  awaiting my decent to the baggage carousel, I see a peek of big brown eyes and a welcoming smile that brought me to tears!!!

It was an older, taller, more mature version of  the memory I had from a year ago of  Lexy Merloe.

 

This little girl is something else!!!

Talk about a reincarnation of Chelise!!!!

She blew me away with her compassion, giving heart, and humorous wits.

The rest of the adult evening consisted of Bud Light, wine, girl talk and never wanting to go to sleep for fear that we might not have sucked enough breath out of each other from snorting laughter!

"JUST ONE MORE!!!!"

is our coined phase which means 'just one more' Bud Light before bed [we all know that when I say one I mean four], or wanting to extend 'just one more' day together.

We started the next morning with breakfast and the mimosa trio at Mimi's.

What a buzz treat!!!!  

Somehow when fresh squeezed juice is involved, it seems very justified to combine it with a splash of champagne!

I convince myself that it's NOT a drinking problem at 9 am if it looks that beautifully sophisticated!

HELLO!!!!

Anyone agree?

Yes Paula, Lisa, Lynsie, Chelise and Elise......

I see your hands raised!  

You all were a given.

Next on the agenda:  Rock N Roll to fill the soul!

The three of us were so excited to see this movie together.

[FYI:  it's a musical....it's cheesy...it's raunchy....it's dry humored...it's not for everyone....Julianne Hough was horrible]

We LOVED it!!!!!

Ahhhhh....so many songs brought me back to moments in my teens, that to this very day, I can feel throughout my body.

Chelise and Elise kept saying that I looked like Malin Akerman's character 

[remember the wand hair curler that made the 80's call me?], 

which I took as a HUGE compliment.  

But even more important was that I knew that this character was living my tween dream!!!

Not a dream of being with Tom Cruise 

[yuck! he's a  crazy mofo! 

although he was really good in the movie, 

but hallelujah that Katie Holmes came out of her coma and is now in hiding underground from the Scientology mafia.  There's only so much couch jumping and Tom's nose that one girl can take!]

but the dream of being with a band,

 traveling and enjoying all the perks of being a low life, 

living the high life!

ok....so I didn't dream of having a white picket fence with a husband and 2.5 children when I was a tween girl.....

but I'm not the only one that yearned to tour on a rock band bus and live by the 

Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll persona.

Right? 

What?  You didn't want that?

Oh come on!!!

Really?

Shit.....I'm starting to realize that I'm totally NOT normal!

Let me tell you another thing that is NOT normal!!!

Being in AZ at 115 degrees with a black sweaty cast!

Lex was kind enough to let me use her little bunny neck pillow to prop my arm up.  

Tangerine bunny just so happened to color coordinate with my outfit!

by chance????

I THINK NOT!!!

Fashion has it's own energy and it knows when to hop a damn bunny boppy under an armpit!

Agenda #2 for the day:

Grease at the Arizona Broadway Theatre

We had about an hour to spare from one show to the other.

Perfect timing to do a drive by to pick up Lex and still be to the theater in to have a blended 'Pink Lady' cup o' yum!

The price of admission included a lovely dinner.......

But did NOT include a cookie with an adult meal.

As you can see here, a 33 year old grown woman is fighting and trying to steal this defenseless little 8 year old girl's chocolate chip delight!

Cookies are serious around these parts!

Share.... or be gone with your head!

Lexy's highlight was to meet a particular cast member,

 who is also a morning news celebrity.

She patiently sat through 4 hours [dinner and play] just to have the chance to meet Cory :)

~~~~~~

This brings us to the events of the next day.

We made calls, sending out verbal invites of a BBQ, Sunday funday birthday celebration for Parker.

Well......lookie at what these lovelies come packin in!

Yeah!  That's right!

"Party Rockers in the house tonight!!!!

Everybody's gonna have a good time!

Everyday I'm shufflin'!!!!

Randy's mom Carol and aunt Eloise showed up ready to stock our cooler!

I couldn't be more proud!

Even now....

oh dear,  I must pause.....

give me a moment please.

I'm ok....I'm ok.

It's just that I'm in such awe of these ladies and their life experiences of being wild child's themselves.  

And of course for their generosity in sharing damn good ale!

left:  Shylo [Parker and Samantha's baby girl almost 4 months old]

right:  Scarlett [Katie and Kenneth's baby girl almost 7 months old]

And then we have the babes!!!

The beautiful babes that were so sweet, lovable, and happy.

Yes, I will admit that a piece of me died not being able to hold these babes in my arms.  Luckily for me, the days of being a gymnast [35 years ago] , helped me to flex and bend to access their necks and bellies to munch on!

The 'City girl/Country girl' performance.

Cash, Lexy and Shelby

four words:  time is the enemy

One year of me being away, and these kids are growing up in extreme portions.

I have to look at the positive....

you have more appreciation for what is in front of you now,

 if it has been withheld from you in the past.

Not seeing these kiddos for so long, made me look at them as glorious, beautiful, angelic beings who could do nothing wrong.

So maybe time really isn't the enemy, 

but more of a guide to acknowledge that we don't have the control and must appreciate the beauty in growth.

Parker....the lil toe headed cutie pie that I remember running around with his woobie blanket, making everyone laugh with his impersonations and purposely  terrorizing Katie for pure fun, 

has turned 30.

The big 3-0!

I'm proud of this man.....my brother.

He has made the choice to be the best he can be, even with some major obstacles along the way.

With a beautiful wife, two gorgeous children, an HVAC degree and a drug free life, I have no doubt that this amazing cousin of mine has many years of love and success ahead.

I love ya Park.

My cup overflows with happiness for you.

You can do anything!!!

Hard times come our way....it's how we deal with the hurdle that defines us.

Sometimes the hurdle is keeping your birthday ice cream away from crack.

This is how we show love toward one another.

'Happy birthday brother!!! Here, kiss my ass!"

Awe :)  just makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

A couple days later, I was back on a plane to SLC feeling twisted with emotion.

I was missing my hubs and boys, yet ached leaving my AZ fam just as much.

Leaving before you stink is the best way to go about it.

I left with sweetness still in the air.

Thank god!  Because I'm coming back real soon!  

Ya hear???

I will close this post with the goal that I warm you with the sunshine of a child's heart.

This is a surprise gift I found  in a little zipper as I unpacked my luggage.

It's my Arizona treasure chest that holds all of my special Lexy memories.

What can I say?

Lex, you are my golden gem :)

Quote of the week by Chelise:

This body is tired of workin!!!

This body was MADE for a resort!!!!!

NOLA Chapter 5....The End

This would be our last full day in New Orleans.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend it, then touring plantations.

I had been waiting to take this tour for 10 years!

[Chelise and Elise went on the tour for their first time 10 years ago.  They told of all the amazing history and beauty.  

We couldn't wait to share the experience together]

Our 'Limo" bus arrived at 10 am to load us all up.

This was an unexpected treat!!!

WOO WOO!

There was a wrap around lounger, stripper pole, stereo system,  mini bar, mirrors on the ceiling, and rope lighting all throughout.

This funbus-limo-skank-it-up-mobile  was

bow chica wow wow 

straight out of the early 90's!!!

And we would be passengers for the next (on and off) 7 hours!

[Chelise became the entertainment commity chairperson.  

Elected by default since there were no other candidates in the running. 

She informed all guests that she would be DJ for the afternoon, 

and if they were lucky she would become pole dancer by eve.]

Our plantation tour consisted of two plantations for $95.

Our first stop:

Oak Alley

Named Oak Alley because of the quarter mile of 300 year old Virginia Live Oaks.  There are 28 oaks in two equal rows spaced 80 feet apart leading to the river on the opposite end of the house.

The largest of the oaks has a girth of 30 feet and a 127-foot spread of limbs.

Long steel poles are used to assist the tree in holding it's own weight.

The 'Big House' 

(which is what it is called being that there were many houses on the plantation: 

The Overseer's House, the House for  the Garconnieres, and the slave quarters.)

This house was a gift from Jacques Telesphore Roman, a wealthy Creole sugar planter, to his bride Celina.  It was constructed primarily by slave labor and took three years to complete.

There are many doors along the patio.  They are strategically thought out and positioned for the river's breeze to flow through.  They are all very tall, yet narrow. The small door knobs are closer to the bottom.  The average height of a person in the early 1800's was a little over 5' with a small frame.

Hence, the daintiness of the fixtures.

This is a Punkah fan [I believe that was the name, although I'm not totally sure] that hangs over the dining table.

The canvas at the bottom pushes the air as the rope attached to the wood frame is pulled to move the fan back and forth.

The rope would have been pulled by a slave.

Please watch as Elise demonstrates.

She is a slave to many things, 

and is used to hard non-paid work.

She did the job without error.

Do you know how the 'Table Spoon' came about???

Well, let me just tell you then.

Cutlery was made of pure silver.

The larger the silver spoon next to the dinnerware,

 the more influence (money) your family has.

There will be a quiz at the end of this chapter.....

just to make sure you are paying attention.

I found the 'prayer chair' at the foot of the bed interesting.

 Beds were made of moss and horse hair.

[OMG!! Can you imagine the smell?? 

And we thought sleeping with our farty dudes was bad! 

A sheet 'dutch oven' aint got nuthin on this!

 Try sleeping with horse shit hair and swamp plant! 
uck!! 
great....now I'm all itchy just thinking about it.]
The slaves would spend hours each day rolling out the bed with the big rolling pin that detached from the headboard.

Homes were not built with the kitchen inside.  

Kitchens were positioned off premises due to fire hazards.

Also a little known fact:  

After a week in NOLA your arms get as fat as the Oak tree branches.

Luckily we are standing by a huge Sugar Kettle that will maybe distract peoples eyes from the arm and boobage weight gain.

[oh dear Lord.  help me!]

The Sugar Kettles were made of cast iron and were vital to the process of making molasses and crystallized sugar.

These days, they make beautiful planters and mini water ponds for lily pads.

The plantation is in the process of rebuilding the slave quarters at Oak Alley.

The construction will use the same materials, techniques and style as used in the original.

I couldn't get over the plaque that named all the slaves, their children, and their worth in dollars.

Wow.  It leaves me speechless.

BTW: Since you can't see the rest of the plaque, I should let you know that the house slaves were worth the most.  

Some of the field slaves were only worth $20.

At the bottom of the plaque were the slave definitions of their race.

You just know that to have Mulatto/Mulattress children, one of the 'whities'  had their way with a Negress slave.

I would assume that the slave would be at fault for that one too.

Can you even believe we lived like this??

Owned people.

Dehumanized.

Put prices on their head.

This is part of my son's heritage.

How do you explain that to a young boy who is confused by life anyway?

We all made it back to the stripper mobile, and headed to plantation #2.

The Laura Plantation

This continues to be a working cane plantation.

The hand grooved wooden joists with wood pegs are still what holds this house above the ground.

Again, all done with slave labor.

Back in the day....a man would propose marriage to a woman by giving her a bling-ed out hand held fan.

If she opens the fan and waves it to her face, then she accepts.

[I think that's how the story goes.

 I was starting to get a lil sleepy....

I think I tuned out for a minute as my brain took a nappie and my eyes were glazed open.  

Must have been the strong mint juleps we drank at the last plantation.]

You can feel a weird energy in this place.

Maybe it's because we heard the tale of a young girl (16) who died while they were trying to medically treat her for acne.  

The girl's mother could not accept her death.  

She hung her daughter's picture above a mantel in the main room of the home.  

She never left that room for the rest of her life (40 years).

So yah, a little creepy!

There are still 18 slave shacks located on the property.

We weren't able to tour the grounds because a HUGE rain/thunder/lightning storm came rolling in.

[notice the dark clouds in the picture]

The drops were the size of quarters and drenched our clothing within seconds.

The ride home on the skank-stank bus was real fun after that!

We were all wet, cold and the escape hatch on the top of the bus leaked!!!!

Water sporadically poured down on the people sitting on each side of the roof window.

Chelise was one of the victims.  

She spent the rest of 1 1/2 hours riding like potato bug all curled up in a ball.

The rain laid inches of water on the freeway.

People were pulled off to the side hoping to wait out storm.

BUT NOT US!!!

NO SIReeeBOB!!

We were taking that whore bus all the way regardless of how much water we had to navigate through or wear.

There were times I was wondering if we were in the midst of some kind of Katrina round 2.

Apparently, these kind of storms happen ALL the time!

FREAKY TEAKY I tell ya!

This gave Chelise the opportunity she had been waiting for all week long!!!

The girl was determined to use her pocket poncho on this trip 

AT LEAST ONCE!

[you really can only use it once because you can never get it back in the package!!!]

Successful!!!

"Look at me!! I'm a full body condom!"

Elise and I enjoy an umbrella.

We don't do cellophane.

And now we all are prepared and READY!!!!

Bring on those rain drops bitch!

We decided to have our last moments reminiscing the week at our favorite little dive.

I Heart Igor's!!!

yup!!!!

Looking like hood-rats shows that we totally fit in and belong there!

We are inducted into the Igor's hall of fame now and forever as,

"the best lookin gals in the bar!"

[yes, standards are VERY low at Igor's.]

Nola Day 5~Humbled, thankful, in awe of the week, grateful for my life's experiences, and adolescently screaming,

"NO!! I'M NOT GOING HOME!!!!

Just one more day...PLEEEEEEZ!!

We were in the taxi to depart to the airport by 7:30 am the next morning.

It's always painful for me to have to rip my arms off of  Chelise and Elise.

Leaving NOLA and leaving my girls behind was the first tearful low point that I had experienced that entire week.

We gave our loves and goodbyes, 

and vowed to keep each other and NOLA in our hearts.......

until we return again.

The End


**Psych!!!! I was teasing about the cutlery quiz.
***This book WILL NOT be made into a movie....
well, unless Meryl Streep, Drew Barrymore, and J-WoW agree to sign the contract that I sent to their agents.


Read prior chapters:
Nola Chapter 4
Nola Chapter 3
Nola Chapter 2
Nola Chapter 1
Nola Introduction