I guess a personal blood pressure machine isn't a real good idea to give someone turning 45.
Apparently it makes them feel even more concrete that they are 'this' close to DEAD.
DEAD!
DEAD!
DEAD!
I know, I know.
It's along the same lines of a dude giving his chick a mop for Valentine's Day.
It's offensive.
And, if you could have seen the disappointment and lack of lust in his eyes as he opened it, you would cringe with uncomfortableness.
I kind of think he was hoping is was a joke.
I feel like a total fart face right now :(
BUT!!!
In my defense.....
come on, just hear me out.....
We have been very worried about Randy's blood pressure.
He's always been healthy and in the correct number ranges for a healthy male.
But these last months have taken a toll on him and he hasn't been feeling well.
Dizziness, passing out, vertigo, confused and weight loss.
We both had an assessment for our health insurance where they do all of the blood work and blood pressure and weight and fat % and YADA YADA YADA.
Everything came back in good range except for his blood pressure, which he was in denial about, and had the poor gal re-test it like 6 times! Each time, the numbers climbed. We are pretty sure it's because of his nerves, but there is still reason to be keeping an eye on his health.
HENCE THE BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR GIFT SET!!!!
It truly was a gift of love,
but I will make up for the
"you are 45 now, and almost dead"
gift to Rand in someway.
I'm thinking it will probably involve a trip to Victoria's Secret :)
Talk about raising someone's blood pressure!
HUBBA! HUBBA!
BOW CHICA WOW WOW!
See!!!!
I told you my gift is the universal gift that keeps on giving!
5 comments:
Oh Jolie.....YOU DIDN'T!???
Is this for real?
This makes a gift like a mop look romantic! I'll be sure to recommend that Randy get you a big ol box of Poise pads, face blotting sheets and hormone replacement therapy for your next birthday!
Victoria's Secret won't cut it....you need to go much nastier.
Like say, Frederick's of Hollywood or Blue Boutique!
Poor Randy!!!! Jolie, this better have been in addition to something fantasticly nasty and naughty! If not, I know it came from the heart but, shame girl! You gotta to make up for it with a quickness!
Keep him alive til that HUGE life insurance policy kicks in. Then if he has a heart attack during one of your wild sex nights it won't be your fault...
E
Okay, this isn't funny. His poor sad face :(
But I LAUGHED my ass off when I read the lables: I fucked up. I need to start labeling my posts.
I am sure that you made it up to him. :)
I'm an even bigger LOSER, for I didnt' even REMEMBER Rand's Birthday!!!! Not one lil bit, and he is supposed to be my otha lovr.....I will file this one under my "I am an ASSHOLE" file.
Happy Belated Birthday, Randy!
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