I decided I needed a life job.
Two reasons:
money
&
&
sanity
Mostly sanity and interaction with peers.
I really miss that!
Pretty simple eh?
I really miss that!
Pretty simple eh?
I knew that I was basically starting from ground up at this point.
My hell! It's been over 14 years since I had a real jobbie.
My skills are out of date,
my education is null,
and my wrinkles are like POW!
my education is null,
and my wrinkles are like POW!
These are the three top things that gets your application pushed to the side to make way for the young and fresh to over shine your dingy resume.
The young and fresh have sparkle!
SPAAAAAAARKLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!
SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE GOD DAMN IT!!!
A LOT OF SPARKLE!
A 41 year old stay at home mom has the opposite of sparkle.......
I would call it SPACKLE!
LOTS OF SPACKLE!!!!
You know the saying....spackle and paint makes it what it aint.
You know the saying....spackle and paint makes it what it aint.
SPACKLE THE EXHAUSTION,
SPACKLE THE TIRED EYES,
SPACKLE THE LOSS IN CONFIDENCE,
SPACKLE THE OUTFIT TO LOOK LIKE THERE ISN'T A MID-ROLL,
SPACKLE THE YEARS OF BLARING NON-EXISTENT EXPERIENCE AND WORK HISTORY.
SPACKLE THE TIRED EYES,
SPACKLE THE LOSS IN CONFIDENCE,
SPACKLE THE OUTFIT TO LOOK LIKE THERE ISN'T A MID-ROLL,
SPACKLE THE YEARS OF BLARING NON-EXISTENT EXPERIENCE AND WORK HISTORY.
SPACKLE THAT SHIT..... INFINITY!
I applied to one company.
My attraction to this company was that the job is a no brainer, has healthy physical labor, and is part time.
This company also boasted about supporting the "stay at home mom". A commitment to family values that will leave the employee a flexible work schedule.
As you can guess, the pay isn't something to brag about, but the bennies are great.
The day that I applied, I received an email saying they would like to phone interview me and gave me a specific time and day to choose.
That next Monday morning's interview was comfortable, and went what I considered "a success". We started by talking about my work experience. I tried to keep it to the most influential and recent job I had....ya know, the one that was in the decade before this one!
But that wasn't what the interviewer was interested in.
NOPE!!
She told me that I got the interview because of my experience in 1987 when I was 16 years old and worked retail at JC Penney!!!
Who freekn knew that college and a stable career took back seat to a part time teenage position!
We then talked about how important being a team player was to me and I was asked to give examples of where I have been a team player.
I gave many answers and then ended with, "Well my proudest team playing job has been as a wife and mother. We depend on each other to keep the house in order and properly functioning in a positive manner".
We completed the interview and I thought to myself, "hmmmmm I think that was a pretty good answer if I do say so myself." Many of my friends agreed and gave me a big pat on the back and encouraging words towards me being hired.
But you know, there is always one red headed step child in the group!
I tell my friend Amie this interview story and she can't contain her laughing!!! So now I am laughing and thinking that maybe this interview was totally stupid after hearing myself repeat it out loud!
Amie turns to me in between her tears and snorts of laughter and says,
"OH! MY! GAAAAAWD!!!
THAT WAS SO GAY!!!!!"
in response to my team player bullshit.
I had to agree and we had so much fun making jokes about my "gay" interview.
A couple days after the initial interview, I get an email saying I am still in the running but the manager needed TWO more weeks to make a decision!!!
I patiently waited those two weeks and then started thinking this whole thing was a candid camera moment when it went into the
third week.
I mean really!!!!
Who does this?
Is this normal and I just don't understand the workforce anymore?
[BTW: This isn't some little po-dunk small town company!
They are national and very known and respected!]
Three weeks and one day later, and I received the call that offered me the job.
WHEW!
I accepted and was so excited. I began to anticipate my start date.
FOUR. DAYS. LATER
and I finally had contact with my new supervisor.
This process of waiting has just about killed me and my confidence in even working outside of the home.
Anyway, my supervisor sounds like a real hoot and I can just tell that me and my TEAM are all gonna get along just dandy!
You hear that AMIE?!?! T.E.A.M!!!!
Who's got the gay answers now Amie?!?!?!?
Apparently my new jobbie supports gay rights!
booooyah!
But that wasn't what the interviewer was interested in.
NOPE!!
She told me that I got the interview because of my experience in 1987 when I was 16 years old and worked retail at JC Penney!!!
Who freekn knew that college and a stable career took back seat to a part time teenage position!
We then talked about how important being a team player was to me and I was asked to give examples of where I have been a team player.
I gave many answers and then ended with, "Well my proudest team playing job has been as a wife and mother. We depend on each other to keep the house in order and properly functioning in a positive manner".
We completed the interview and I thought to myself, "hmmmmm I think that was a pretty good answer if I do say so myself." Many of my friends agreed and gave me a big pat on the back and encouraging words towards me being hired.
But you know, there is always one red headed step child in the group!
I tell my friend Amie this interview story and she can't contain her laughing!!! So now I am laughing and thinking that maybe this interview was totally stupid after hearing myself repeat it out loud!
Amie turns to me in between her tears and snorts of laughter and says,
"OH! MY! GAAAAAWD!!!
THAT WAS SO GAY!!!!!"
in response to my team player bullshit.
I had to agree and we had so much fun making jokes about my "gay" interview.
A couple days after the initial interview, I get an email saying I am still in the running but the manager needed TWO more weeks to make a decision!!!
I patiently waited those two weeks and then started thinking this whole thing was a candid camera moment when it went into the
third week.
I mean really!!!!
Who does this?
Is this normal and I just don't understand the workforce anymore?
[BTW: This isn't some little po-dunk small town company!
They are national and very known and respected!]
Three weeks and one day later, and I received the call that offered me the job.
WHEW!
I accepted and was so excited. I began to anticipate my start date.
FOUR. DAYS. LATER
and I finally had contact with my new supervisor.
This process of waiting has just about killed me and my confidence in even working outside of the home.
Anyway, my supervisor sounds like a real hoot and I can just tell that me and my TEAM are all gonna get along just dandy!
You hear that AMIE?!?! T.E.A.M!!!!
Who's got the gay answers now Amie?!?!?!?
Apparently my new jobbie supports gay rights!
booooyah!
9 comments:
So where is this job?
Congratulations.
I don't think your answer was gay at all.
Okay, maybe a little but obviously you are what they wanted ;)
That is so great...let me know how this works out for you.
E
Meg....
I'm selling vacuums door to door with a multi level marketing scheme. Need a vacuum?
LOL! J.K.
The job is with Hallmark.
It's called an "installation merchandiser". I will be setting up new shelving and updated shelving as well as stocking cards etc. in the smith's and kohl's stores.
Gasp!!! I have always wanted this job. Not even kidding. I always see them working and am super envious, it seems super flexible. Way to go!!
BTW, I would totally buy a vacuum from you and join your pyramid of "friends"...
Awe Meg :) you are always in my pyramid of friends..and you don't even have to by a vacuum!
Have you applied at Hallmark?
It's an easy process and once you have your info in their system, they contact you via email anytime a job is avail in your area. I know you are a busy gal right now....but you can always try and see if it can be fit into your sched. Come on!!! Be a hallmarker chick with me!!!
Congrats girl! Can't wait to hear all about your TEAM. Good Luck tomorrow...it's like your first day of school again or something.
Jol,
Damn you are sooo funny! Proud of your spackling and makin it what it aint abilities!!
Now that you have a jobee, does this mean we can't drink lots of beer on, well, every day of the week?? How is this going to affect our image??
I am glad your "gay" answer landed you the job. Your sparkly competitors my have firm tits and asses but you rock the beer gut with confidence and your wisdom runs deeper than the well drinks at the bar! Love you my favorite biotch!
P.S. Remember, there is no "I" in TEAM!
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