When I grow up, I want to be happy

After posting the situation that we are in regarding Jax, 

I decided that that was my purge, 

my exorcism, 

and the end of my 'woe is me'.

Don't get me wrong, everything I feel and mourn is valid.

I am not understating the severity of what the last two weeks, let-alone the last 12 years of Jax's life issues have been.

I know that we have a lot of lessons to learn and some trying times ahead, but for right now 

I am choosing happiness.

I choose to look at the gifts of help that we have been given as a light that I can start to see flickering at the end of the scary, winding tunnel.

I choose to look at our home now filled with peace and love, as an earned vacation.

I choose to be thankful for all who care and support our family, 

by now being present and not reclusive.

I choose to wake up, get my ass out of bed, and take on the day for what it is, and leave the drama and erratic emotions behind.

Thank you all for being patient while I 'grow up' and learn to understand life.

Life is choice.

Life is good.

Life is love.

Life will be is happy.

xoxo


[This John Lennon quote reminded me of a time last week when I was sitting in a psychiatrist's office.  The doctor asked me what changes I wanted to see in Jax so that they could better help him.
I blurted out the first thing that came to mind:
"I just want him to be able to feel happiness."
It's that simple, yet all encompassing.]