{let's not say muffin anymore}
I guess you could say that this is a picture of a sweet, innocent dog laying content in the back seat of my car.....
BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!!!
She is a sneaky thief that got her bad-ass self in a lot of trouble this morning.
Jax had an appointment today to have blood drawn.
(no worries, it's our ritual to keep tabs on his liver/kidneys due to med changes)
Once we left the doctor, we headed straight to Starbucks to feed Jax's ongoing hunger pains, and my ongoing caffeine addiction.
I ordered my norm house coffee and Jax ordered a low-fat triple berry coffee cake.
Before he could take a bite, I whipped into the barber shop around the corner for a quick shaving of Jax's 'Hexdrix-fro' to be removed from the top of his head.
We carefully wrapped the coffee cake tight and placed it in the center console before locking the doors.
I trusted that Daisy would be obedient and continue laying in the back seat waiting for our return.
YES, I TRUSTED A DOG NOT TO ACT LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!
(I know, you all are saying "you dumb-ass Jolie!")
I trusted her because she is more human then animal, and she had been given strict rules to keep her nose out of other peoples belongings.
We came back to the car with this torn wrapper sitting in my front seat....minus one piece of low-fat triple berry coffee cake. In the back was one very guilty looking human-dog, licking her crumb filled chops.
Jax and I were like 'WTF?!?!' , then I said,
"that little brat!!! that cake was $3!!"
Jax was pissed.
He starts reprimanding Daisy by saying,
"You naughty girl!! You ate the mufffin!
Daisy, you bad muffin eater!!
Daisy is a baaaaaad -girl- muffin eater!"
I just......
I don't know.....
I have a sick mind.
And so do a lot of you!!!
Come on, admit it!
Jax meant muffin in the literal sense of a baked pastry,
but I couldn't listen to him continue saying those phrases without laughing to myself, and then putting a stop to the "muffin eating" discipline.
How do you explain to a kid that something as innocent as saying "muffin eating" could be interpreted as something nasty, and advise to "just use the word cake from now on???"
3 comments:
OMH.....Hilarious! I thought the same thing! Dirty minds think alike.
Who would have thought? All this time we've just thought Daisy was an emotional, schizo dog....come to find out-she's an in the closet muffin-eater. She's been hiding a huge secret! No wonder she's emotionally unstable. I hope now that the truth is out she can lead a happier, more productive life. Tell everyone the truth....muffins aren't the only thing she's been eating lately.
Oh my hell, I am literally wiping the tears! Jolie, your blog should be the first thing every person reads in the morning. Thanks for getting my day off to fabulous start. You have a gift!
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