What my laugh-a-dufilator needed

"SALUTE!"

We said as our shot glasses of Jager 'tinked'.

My favorite gingy from Colorado graced me with her presence for a few days.

Amie knows when a girl needs her friend close by to talk about life issues, give guidance and support, and to celebrate a 42nd birthday.

Thanks Amie!

And because you were so loving and helpful this last week, I won't show everyone the video I made of you singing "Call me maybe".

You are welcome.

And when I say 'YOU'........

 I mean you readers!

Standing next to Amie for a picture, made me finally understand what Paula feels like standing next to me.....

or anyone taller than 5 foot nothing for that matter.

Amie crouching down a foot or three, made it possible to get a picture without me looking like a midge, 

OR having to cut off Amie's head because 

"AWH!!!!  She so tawh, we no fit hewr in da peekchuwr.  

Ahhhhh Sooooo!"

[somehow that accent became a mixture of Chinese and Spanish........

something I like to call Spanese....or Chinish.]

A night with my girls at A Bar Named Sue, was just what our laugh-a-dufilators and beer pallets needed!

The thoughtful cards,  grand expense of gifts, abundance of texts and voice mails, love put into hand made treasures, and genuine time carved out to be with moi,  

spoiled me beyond what is deserving.

I thank each one of you [you all know who you are]

for making me feel embraced and content as I turned another year older.

MUAH!

She was smiling all night......until......

Saturday night we celebrated Randy and Lisa's birthday at the piano bar.

We filled the reserved table of 20...... and then some.

I hope the turn out shows the love we have for them both!

You know we are famous for documenting our events with pictures GALORE!

Here ya go!

Here's to Randy's 46th

and Lisa's 38th years of making us all better people by having them in our lives!

The most interesting 'posing' man in the world, Jerry.

You never know where his face is gonna pop up!

Random dude that walked by our table.  

Derek couldn't pass up the photo op.

Random dude was very obliging.

Paula is always a little angel.

[that's what we want her mom to think]

Jay threw a citrus wedge headed east and it landed in the ball of my eye, and sprayed juice across my face.

I am finally rid of all freckles, AND feeling in my T-Zone.

Rich, Derek and Lisa

Noelle and Patrick

A little inside joke.....

You would have had to heard of Lisa's dream to get this one.

The boys are demonstrating their "girth".

Marilyn and Ben

Jay....

or as I called him, "Jay-hole" for being a great lemon flinger/eye blinder.

[btw:  We missed you Lyns!]

It's all fun and games until someone [RICH] buys the bday girl too many German Chocolate Cake shots!!!!!!

Awe.....Poor Lis :(

[Derek sent me an email after he looked at the pictures and said, 

"She was smiling ALL night.....until.......]

Randy took good care of his birthday sister, and held her up to get fresh air.

Ahhhh....the love we all have for the lil girl!

 Jay was proud of Lisa for partying like a rock star!!! 

And secretly, he was glad that it wasn't him this time!
We love ya Jay!!!!
Awe...look at Rand holding me and Lisa's purse!
He's such a stud!
[See Jerry's head in the background?!?!?]

As we waited for Derek to bring the chariot around to pick up his princess,

we took one last opportunity to celebrate and laugh with an "end of the night" picture.

[Paula is awesome at positioning her camera on a dainty ledge, sets the timer, and gets all of us in focus!]

We loaded the bday girl next to her man, and sent them off into the moonlight......with a Puff's tissue and a ponytail holder, 

in hopes of a hangover-free morning awaiting them :)

~~~~~~~~~~~

One more time!!! Happy Birthday Randy, my love.

OOOOh la la

 I am very behind on my posting due to many trips to Grand Junction for party time, house guests, and the fact the my stomach is getting so fat I can barely extend my arms around it to type a sentence.  Luckily for me though, I've figured out that the keyboard sits nicely on top of the jellobelly as my T-Rex arms are within reach of the the alphabet.

Since I have a large quantity to post,  there won't be much quality in these stories.

But here ya go with a shartload of pics!!!

Me and my posse purchased our $40 tickets to see Grace Potter and the Nocturnals for a "girls night" of rock and roll. The venue was at  the beautiful Red Butte Garden amphitheater.

Grace Potter is the epitome of model beautiful, 

multi-musically talented 

and legs 10 miles long.

I was so absorbed watching the freedom of her body movements and the way her silky hair swung around like fringe, that I didn't even care  to see what the other band members looked like.

I think it says a lot that a chick has me more mesmerized than a dude with a guitar!

She's seriously that AWESOME!

[check her out on this video of Ooh La La]

Lisa and Carrie took one for the team.

They showed up to stand in line for hours before the concert started so that we could have good lawn seats.

The sacrifice was appreciated!

Paula and Lyns

Lyns and Marilyn

Lisa came packin!!!!

She brought all the ingredients to make a raw pizza from scratch as we sat on our blankets and drank wine.

Damn it was goooooood!

We all chipped in a lil somethin' somethin' and created a lovely array of munchies.

I do not purposely go out looking for only beautifully-cool girls to be my friends, 

but as you can see.......

I'm surrounded by them :)

If I was from Paris I would say "Oooooooh La La La La La La La"

Screwed, blued, tattooed and bluetoothed

As a get well gift, 

[since my arm has been literally screwed, blued and tattooed 

*see pic at bottom of post], 

Aunt Elise sent me this retro bluetooth along with a card saying,

 "Heard you were having trouble holding your phone.  

Thought this might help"

Auntie E  has special powers of knowing when a diva needs the right equipment to communicate!!!!

 I loved the phone soooo much, that I decided to thank Auntie E with a photo shoot of all the ways it can will be used!

[Paula and Lisa were at my house when I opened it.  

They assisted as models/actresses/demonstrators/victims in the photos as well.]

Please enjoy:

'THE MANY USES OF A HOT PINK RETRO BLUETOOTH'

'The comforts of your own home' use:

"Hello!  Is this Home Shopping Network?"

"What the hell do you mean you are out of the white girl butt booster underwear?!?!?

OMG!!!  Fine then, just give me the miracle ass cellulite cream that comes with a free massage glove!!!  

And send that next day air please!!!"

'The in your car road rage' use:

"Hey lady!!!  

Yah you in the eco friendly electric Toyota!!!

Learn how to drive defensively!!!

Can't you see I'm on the phone, 

cast-ed to my armpit with the other arm, 

and driving with my knees!?!

"Oh Yeah???!!  

Really?  

I'm breaking the law?
Well let me just inform your little goody two-shoes attitude, that driving with my kneecaps is my God given-American right!!!!

AND 

F-you and your bumper sticker that tells me to hang up and drive!!!

'The gossip game with friends' use:

"Ok Becky, you can tell the story now, we are both on the phone listening.

OMG Becky!!!  

No waaaay!

You are seriously telling us that Sheri UN-FRIEND-ED all of us on Facebook????

That little tramp!
Who does she think she is???
NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY

un-friends the 

Real Housewives of Salt Lake County!!!

Oh, hold on a minute Becky.....

the other line is beeping in

"It's for you Lisa.  

Your nanny wants you to come home.  

Don't let your hired help tell you what to do!!  You are the boss!! Remember that!

And besides, we have mani's and pedi's scheduled in 20 mins, so hurry it up."

'The shut your mouth while I am on the phone or I will beat you' use:

"Dammit Lisa!!!!  

I can't schedule our trip to Figi if you don't quit yapping and fighting with Paula!!!  

I'm on the phone,

 and you know I'm deaf in my good ear

 and can't hear in the other!  

QUIET!!!"

"Don't make me turn this Mercedes around!!!"

Disclaimer: Nobody was hurt in the making of this photo shoot.  

And even if they were.....

which they weren't,

but if they were......

they all signed a waiver and participated by their own free will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, the fun screwed, blued and tattooed picture I promised you:

That's my ulna bone with seven screws.

Me and this heavy metal

 will rock it out 

side by side 

for the next 12 months.

UGH!!!

But hey!!!  It got me a kick ass hot pink phone, many gifts, cards, well wishes and yummy dinners brought to my house.

Ahhhhh...the extent that I will go through for attention......

Thanks everyone for your kindness and love!!!

It is very appreciated!

Muah!!!!

The Hangover

I turned 41 on Wednesday.

 I am considered an 'older' lady....

It's true.  I see it.

I  get called 'mam' and never 'miss' anymore.

Whatever!

I'm so over worrying about what number I'm on.

It really doesn't matter at this point.

But please don't mistake my words and think that I am giving up on myself!!!!

HELL NO!!!!

I'm just getting started with a new lease on life!!!!

There is  a lot of freedom letting go of the 'age' ties that bind a person.

My motto for 41:

~Accept what is.....

~Stay away from mirrors.....

and always have the intention of 

good times over good looks!

The day started with a birthday breakfast brought to my bed.

Hand cooked by my boys!!!!!

Riv did the eggs and toast, Jax made the 'smile' cakes.

After my delish breakfast from brotherly love,  I hurried out the door to get to my physical therapy appt by 9:15 to be fitted for what I call,

"the cast that never ends and is a torture chamber and is fug with a capitol F and makes me want to Mr. Roboto since it goes to my elbow and I have constant stiffy bent arm".

'WELCOME TO 41 BeeeeyotCH!!!!!'

I heard myself yell inside my head!

aint it great?!?!?!

reeeeeeeeal effin great!

[After spending $1600 on an MRI, we now know that I have a tear in my cartilage and ligament.  The ideal end result would be for the cast to keep me from having zero movement, which would let the injuries heal themselves.  The 'not-so' ideal result will be surgery.]

[don't worry...I was thinking the same thing!!!

"geez Jolie!!!  Why the long face!?"

apparently when you start your 40's your face turns into a horse head.

yikes!!!!]

Paula and Lola met me at The California Pizza Kitchen at 11:45 to split a yummy pear and Gorgonzola pizza.

We declined the dessert menu, but couldn't resist the free birthday sundae that was brought to the table.

Fudge, pecans, and toffee lined the serving dish with ice cream, whipped cream and a cherry to top.

YES, it was as good as it sounds!!!

Paula gave me a gift card to my fav tea store and the cutest/rockin shirt with a sequinned owl on the front for some fowl bling!!!

In the midst of my morning eat-a-thon(s), I received a text from Lisa saying,

"hey!!  let's go to Park City tonight!!!  A street band and a lot of athletes will be there for the World Cup skiing."

So I said, "OK! wahoo!"

We decided to have this event  be our annual girls night birthday celebration for Paula and I.

 (Paula's birthday is on the 6th)

Lisa arrived to my house at 7 pm to pick up me and Lyns.

She gave me a very generous gift certificate for a facial.

The shoe bag is something we have passed back and forth for each other's birthday for over 7 years!!!

It's taped, and tattered, has seen many bars, and could probably tell countless fun stories!

Lyns gave me a tea gift card and a  set of 3 oriental  tea tins.

They're gonna look spiffy on my counter!!!!

We made our way through the street crowds and a fart infested bar to grab a drink.   Because of the rank stank and lack of breathing room, we heel-toe'd outside.  It was snowing but wasn't cold. 
The large flakes and all of the happy street people
 combined with music, created a
"this is what makes Utah kick-ass!!" ambiance.

We were talking, talking, talking about everything under the sun.

It was for the most part mellow, relaxing and  a well needed girl time.

until.............

Somewhere along the way events led up to us experiencing a girls Utah version of 'The Hangover'.

Many of the deets are blurred for me as we go back and try to make sense as to 

why I had a coat and a camera of someone that I thought had left it in the bar.

Maybe this was why???

Too many drinks could have been a BIG contributing factor in my lack of sane judgement and the strange maternal instinct that kicked in.

We called  the "lost and found" coat

 the baby.

I took great care of that baby and even had people thinking I was carrying a real baby down Main Street.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only 20 minutes, a camera dropped out of the baby.

We looked at the pics and realized that the baby belonged to a kid that was still in the bar, 

and NOT to the group of people who had left.

[which is why i had to adopt the baby!!!  

i thought it had been abandoned]

After we all had the DNA and knew who the baby's daddy was, we went back to the bar to give the dude his kid.

As Paula and I walked past the coat check, she asked the guy if the bar had a lost and found.

He said yes, but there hasn't been any lost and found action for that night.

I then proceeded to ask with a brow raised and untrust in my voice,

"exactly how does your lost and found process work?"

He looked at me like any sober person would......

like I was a total fool!!!!

He replied,  "It works like a lost and found."

I turned on my heel and said, "well I don't trust you!" and walked into the bar until I found baby daddy!

I had put all kinds of love and care into that baby and I wasn't about to hand it over to an oversized door man that wouldn't appreciate the worth of this baby!

Needless to say, 

baby had been taken, 

went on a fun adventure against my chest, 

was in many of our own personal pictures, 

was dropped a time or two

 and returned back to daddy 

without daddy even knowing his baby had been gone!!!!

The oblivious daddy was way cool about the kidnapping and thanked me for taking great care of his bastard child :)

This was one of the most unexpectedly FUN girls nights.

There were one liners bouncing off each other like a pinball machine!!!

I can NOT relay in words the amount of belly laughs and near 'pee pants' we were.

[maybe the pee pants was just me?]

The energy between the four of us was free, witty, and all about celebrating life!

There was a blip moment in the evening that I truly stopped and took in the amazing woman as friends that surround me.

I do not take for granted each one of their qualities, their morals, their beauty, their thoughts, their  joys, and their commitments that they stand strong to hold.

I always think, "birds of a feather flock together".

I am sooo proud to be a part of this gaggle.

***that energy alcohol stayed in my system for two full days!

OH NELLY!!!!

I was HUNGover!!

I don't say that to brag by any means!!

At my age, a person should really control themselves and keep to moderation.

I am recovered today and can look back with less fuzzy mind of 

'the night I found a baby in the bar'.