Hey Piss Bomb! Suck this!

I told you about the animal odor stench that was permeating the flip house.

It was coming from the basement cement.

[cement is actually quite porous]

I scrubbed it with vinegar.

I scrubbed it with Arm and Hammer laundry detergent.

I scrubbed it with Clorox.

After each scrub, I had hope that this time it would be the right cleaner and take away the stank for good.

The piss bomb continued to rear it's ammonia filled ass, minutes after each wash down.

ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!

I was worried this smell would potentially affect the sale of the flip, even though everything else was clean and sparkly new.

I bought a 5 gallon bucket of KILZ [a primer/paint that will cover ANYTHING], and dreaded painting the entire floor of the basement!

Not to mention, the cost involved was not in my budget.

One last stop to Home Depot to get paint rollers and  supplies, and I walked by this:

OdoBan!!!!

It's like the smell good angel dropped me a gallon of miraculous Xanax before my eyes!

I bought the $9.95 experiment, and couldn't wait to try one last effort of deodorizing that damn floor before being forced to KILZ it.

OWH MHY GAW BECKY!!!!

THIS SHIT WORKS!!!

It has a great light, clean scent, and literally dissolves all bad smells and bacteria.

If you too have any kind of odor issue, 

GO GET YO SELF A GALLON OF ODOBAN!

I guarantee it or you can kick me in the shin.

[read the reviews! it's been used on gasoline spills, mouse droppings, and mostly pet odors. 

 people LOVE this as much as I do]

B.O.W.

River is known as B.O.W. on the streets of high crime Riverton.

When smart kids come up with a 'street cred' name to be called by friends, it has some kind of scientific meaning to it.

B.O.W.= Body Of Water

Get it??? 

River....Body of Water

[Not that I think you are stupid and couldn't figure this out on your own, but it took me a bit to 'get it'.....
and then again, I'm not the smartest bottle in the 12-pack.]

New age Amish

Jax found this hat in his drawer.

It went with a gangster Halloween costume he wore three years ago.

The hat doesn't even fit his head anymore and the way it just sat on his crown made him look more Amish than gangstah.

I am past the point of being embarrassed in public by some of his antics since I've realized

 'That's Jax.....he has always been an attention whore....always will be".

While shopping at the home improvement store, I asked Jax to grab me a cart.

He came back with the child race car buggy.

My first thought was, 

"This is the new age Amish and buggy combo!"

[Of course you know that Jax clumsily climbed in to the buggy, had his long limbs poking out the sides and I pushed my 13 yr old dork around the store.  It was a great leg work out for me and solid entertainment for the bystanders]

Puked up Froot Loops

On the corner of 500 South and 3rd East, the 'Color Me Rad' 5K began yesterday morning at 8:30 am.

I had a hard time finding Jax in the crowd considering EVERYONE was looking the same......kind of  like it had rained puked up fruit loops on them.

I finally spotted him and kept an arms length with an air hug at the finish line.

He said his boogers looked like rainbows.

Flip Progress Day.....2, 3 & 4

We are still within the first week, and making progress.

As you will see, I have child labor and work them til they are exhausted and battered.

I hope that these boys will come away with learned experience for their future jobs, work ethic, or even their own homes.

Their wives will thank me later :)

Spray paint is a boys friend.

Brian [my friend Chris' son] was thrown into working for me because his parents are tired of him sitting on the couch all summer.

Fortunately these days, paint is non lead based.

Brian's first try at painting landed him a tablespoon full of bright white in his mouth!

I rented a wallpaper steamer from Home Depot to help break down the adhesive and strip the floor to ceiling covering.

After 45 minutes of using the stupid thing, I had only about 2.5 strips removed.

I said, "screw this!" and ran back to home depot [I make about 3 trips a day] and bought a water pump sprayer [like the one's you put weed killer in] for $17, and saturated the first layer.  This worked perfectly!!  After the first layer was peeled off, I sprayed the second layer and used a scraper to skin off the remainder.  

I finished the front room and hallway in about 6 hours.

A good scrub to wash away any residual will be a quick finale.

While spraying the walls, some of the popcorn ceiling started popping off on it's own.

Since I am fond of asbestos, I will strap on a mask, spray the ceiling with water and go to town scraping each room to a smooth surface.

The  messes of the remodel hasn't been as much of a burden as I had anticipated.

Jay D generously dropped off his dump trailer in the driveway, and we are able to sweep and discard immediately.

Randy and the boys tackled the kitchen today.

Wreck it Ralph(s) were having a great time using sledge hammers and crow bars.

This is Disneyland for testosterone filled teens.

It took them about 4 full hours to dismantle it all.

Rand said these were built to never come down!

Then the saw came out!!!!

A few bent blades later and we had a grand opening from the front room to the kitchen.

It's not true construction without blood involved.

A couple of long floor nails told Riv's foot to stand on top of them.

Thank God for tetanus shots and paper towels!

I thought about leaving the awesome retro pink tiles, until I started to take off the sliding door....and tiles came down with it.

The bathroom will get an entire redo now.

My plans and ideas change a little bit more everyday as to how I will proceed.

I LOVE that part of it!

FLIP DAY 2,3&4........Nail in the foot, and you're to blame.......you give tetanus a bad name!

Flip progress day 1

I am so thankful for River and his burly-ness.

He and I stripped ALL the floors of padding, carpet and 100 bazillion little staples.....painstakingly ONE BY ONE!

The house smells MUCH better and the hardwoods have already changed the look and feel of the house's mojo. 

I love these stairs! After ripping off the dirt filled carpet, I was ecstatic to see these well built, real wood stairs. I'm going to sand and repaint this same robin's egg blue color.

I have a few little things that I want to do to keep it's 60's character.

The kitchen was probably the worst.

For one thing, there should be a law that kitchen carpet is NEVER acceptable!!!!

The carpet was laid over old tiles.....tiles that cracked when picked up.

I assume they were 60's vinyl and full of asbestos.

I popped them all off with my handy dandy floor scraper, and hoped that the mask I was wearing blocked any cancer causing elements to find their way into my lungs.

I've already ruined my lungs for the most part, with aerosol Aqua Net hairspray from the 80's and Marlboro Lights from the 2000's....what's a lil asbestos gonna harm???

Feeling pretty good about today's progress :)

Flip Day 1:  Hazmat suit required

Who's wearing the diapers now?

I just heard Jerry Seinfeld 's stand up on Jimmy Fallon.

He said,

"Babies!!!!  

BABIES!!!!

Why are we so excited about babies?

Don't you know that they are here to replace us?

Their first words are:  

MOMMA, DADDA.....GOODBYE!

in the end, who's wearing the diapers now?"

It's funny cuz it's true!

Piss bomb

"If you don't try, you have already failed" 

are the words I continue to tell myself.

Of course, it's a known fact, that Randy and I have renovated and flipped many houses through the years*.

It's been a partnership between he and I and there has been success with each property sale.

After recently quitting my job at Hallmark to be more available for my family, I started brain storming things I could do to make money.

PROPERTY

PROPERTY

PROPERTY

was the word in caps that continued to flash in front of my eyes.

It's what I know, I'm comfortable with it, and it fulfills many of my life's passions; hard physical work/shopping/decorating/transforming.

But I questioned if I had the confidence to take on a flip house on my own.

As in Jolie singular versus the usual Jolie & Randy.

When I brought the idea to Randy, he backed me 100% and gave me many supportive words of encouragement. 

Before I could mind-fuck myself to death,

I got a loan.

I found a home.

I placed a fair offer that was accepted.

I had rough figures of what the updating expenses would cost me.

I had a goal of a quality finish within budget.

I dreamed of the day I can be proud of giving life back to a stagnate 1961 rambler.

*I need to find pics from previous flips.

You will be amazed at what a little TLC will do!

Today I got the keys  ;)

It was an energizing, powerful moment for me.

The 3 bedroom 1 bath home needs cosmetic updates.

Underneath the multi-colored carpets, are hard wood floors that I hope will be in good shape to recondition.

I will take a wall out, re-tile bath, take off wallpaper, add fresh paint, and do something dramatic to the kitchen.

Many pics to follow, please bear with me as I need to document the "before's".

Wish me luck!

P.S.  Be glad this isn't smellivision!

The prior owners had a pet issue.

I suppose some people don't see anything wrong with dogs peeing/pooping in the house.

But when your nose holes want to punch you in the weener from the stench of a piss bomb, and your clothes need to be burned when leaving the premises, 

THERE IS AN ISSUE!

Yes, I am taking this on willingly,

and yes again.....I'm totally cra.