Only a little piece of Wonder Woman in me

When the boys were young, I had them believing that I was a real life super hero.

Wonder Woman to be exact.

One day Jax had an argument with his classmate. 

The classmate was calling bullshit with the super hero story.

Jax got home that afternoon very upset, so I thought I'd better quit with the 'big story' and tell the poor lad the truth.

"Jax, you know how I have told you that I am a super hero???

Well, I haven't been totally honest with you.

I am actually a Russian-French-Italian born SUPER MODEL living under cover to disguise my true identity of an international spy working for the English Parliament giving war secrets with telepathy to David Beckham through the waste band of our briefs to help queen Elizabeth give nuclear face treatments to Prince Charles and Camilla....

such a shame to be that powerful, yet so ugly.

So really my job here is to help others with their outer beauty."

There was enough in that statement to confuse the hell out of him and he never asked about it again!

Lesson #143 in how to divert a child's thought process:

Use a lot of words....it's hypnotic, 

and then they forget anything that they were obsessing with before the literary overload.

Ok.....where was I going with this post????

Think Jolie......think!

Wonder Woman......

Lies I tell my kids.......

Child lessons........

Oh yes, I remember now.

I brought up the Wonder Woman thing, because of her bullet proof wrist bands.

I am having my wrist surgery in a few short days.

They will be scoping and repairing the cartilage/ligament tears,

 and then.....

AND THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

they will break my ulna bone, take a small piece out of it, and put it back together with a metal plate and screws!!!!!

Oh hell, I get nauseous just saying plate and screws and break and take a small piece.

Oh God....Oh God.

I thought I was ok with this.

I thought I was a strong broad.

I thought I could meditate myself through anything.

I thought I was Wonder Woman with super powers.

But now I realize the only common quality W.W. and I share will be a metal wrist guard.

 Unfortunately, FUG scars come along with mine.
Shit....I really don't want to do this!!!!
[I don't know why I'm turning into such a wimp on this thing....
it's a common surgery, 
it's JUST a wrist.....
it's NOT like they are putting a plate in my head for god's sake!!!
Waaaaah effin Waaaaaah!]

Thank you 41 year old body!!!
After all I have done for you with the late nights, over consumption of Bud Light, and the 10 extra pounds I have given you?!?!?
How could you do this to me?

You rock suck!