Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Only a little piece of Wonder Woman in me


When the boys were young, I had them believing that I was a real life super hero.
Wonder Woman to be exact.
One day Jax had an argument with his classmate. 
The classmate was calling bullshit with the super hero story.
Jax got home that afternoon very upset, so I thought I'd better quit with the 'big story' and tell the poor lad the truth.

"Jax, you know how I have told you that I am a super hero???
Well, I haven't been totally honest with you.
I am actually a Russian-French-Italian born SUPER MODEL living under cover to disguise my true identity of an international spy working for the English Parliament giving war secrets with telepathy to David Beckham through the waste band of our briefs to help queen Elizabeth give nuclear face treatments to Prince Charles and Camilla....
such a shame to be that powerful, yet so ugly.
So really my job here is to help others with their outer beauty."

There was enough in that statement to confuse the hell out of him and he never asked about it again!
Lesson #143 in how to divert a child's thought process:
Use a lot of words....it's hypnotic, 
and then they forget anything that they were obsessing with before the literary overload.

Ok.....where was I going with this post????
Think Jolie......think!
Wonder Woman......
Lies I tell my kids.......
Child lessons........

Oh yes, I remember now.
I brought up the Wonder Woman thing, because of her bullet proof wrist bands.
I am having my wrist surgery in a few short days.
They will be scoping and repairing the cartilage/ligament tears,
 and then.....
AND THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
they will break my ulna bone, take a small piece out of it, and put it back together with a metal plate and screws!!!!!
Oh hell, I get nauseous just saying plate and screws and break and take a small piece.
Oh God....Oh God.
I thought I was ok with this.
I thought I was a strong broad.
I thought I could meditate myself through anything.
I thought I was Wonder Woman with super powers.
But now I realize the only common quality W.W. and I share will be a metal wrist guard.
 Unfortunately, FUG scars come along with mine.
Shit....I really don't want to do this!!!!
[I don't know why I'm turning into such a wimp on this thing....
it's a common surgery, 
it's JUST a wrist.....
it's NOT like they are putting a plate in my head for god's sake!!!
Waaaaah effin Waaaaaah!]


Thank you 41 year old body!!!
After all I have done for you with the late nights, over consumption of Bud Light, and the 10 extra pounds I have given you?!?!?
How could you do this to me?
You rock suck!


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Right of Passage....and Passenger (seat belt) Rights

Riv started out his Memorial Day by attending to his scout duties at 6 am.
He and his troop placed American flags in the front yards throughout the neighborhood.

After coming home to take a quick nap and shower, the dudes were off to the desert for some dude time the way dudes like to do dude things.
Dude fun = Big trucks and Big guns!!!!

[Being a non-dude means I stay home during dude outings.  
I am out numbered.  
It's not that I don't enjoy driving trucks fast 
and shooting guns in a hot windy desert...
I mean, what girl wouldn't??? Right?
I just find that sitting in a massage chair with a Starbucks, a trash mag, and my feet in a pool of smelly salts getting a rub down is more my style]



Riv's bum fit perfectly in the drivers seat. 



Rand was proud of Riv's driving ability!
[even though I could see he was strapped in tight to his seat belt riding to
THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!!! 
HEY!!!! You never know when a rabbit, 
or a field mouse,
or a crater,
or an alien
will jump out in front of the truck that your
teen son is driving, 
 and you need to be restrained DAMMIT!!
Safety first!!!  Safety first!!!]




Riv has been looking forward to this day of shooting practice.
He loves everything about guns;
the way they feel in his hands,
the force behind the impact of the gun and the bullet that thrusts his body backward.
He respects their power and has become a pretty good little marksman.





Riv was invited to a 'Hunters Ed Plus' program.
It is paid for by the state of Utah and other contributors.
They will teach more extensive rifle training and actually take him on a small game hunt.


"My Father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me"
~Jim Valvano




Dude time get's two thumbs up!!!!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Animal print and the 'bleep'




Daisy and I have been working on losing our love handles.
And god knows, we both have put on a few over the last year
 by too much intake and not enough physical movement.
[Apparently beer curls work against you]
Some of my favorite walking times is when it's raining.
[which is good since we've had a stint of rainy days lately]
I can strap on my lil ipod shuffle,
 connect the  headphones, 
and swiftly walk to my blaring music library
 for miles while staying under heated!


On one of our rainy day outings, I noticed the sidewalks transforming into a Tiger print.
Cool huh?


If I stare at this picture long enough I can see the face of a Tiger.
[see the eyes and the form of a nose?
is it just me? or do you see it too?]


After a nice walk in the rain, Daisy enjoys a special treat.

And if I stare at this picture long enough I can see.......
well,  
um....a.....hmmmmm....
I can see something more than just a dog bone.
[see the 'bleep' and the form of a 'bleep'?
is it just me? or do you see it too?]

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Baskets o' love



I'm going to start ordering my monthly/maybe weekly basket full of fun fruits and veggies!!!
You can too at www.utahbaskets.com
The website shows all of the pickup locations from down town SLC to St.George!


It looked to me that the baskets full are $19.95 each.
You can also purchase gift certificates to give to someone!!!
I think this would be an awesome present for a family just moving into a new home, Christmas, or just because.




This is an example of what  the baskets are filled with.
The new basket menu for June 1 will be posted tomorrow.

Support the local farmers.
Bring  fun, fresh, healthy food into your home to create a new menu for your family.

bon appetit!


[paula...we've talked about doing this before.  
don't you order these lyns?????  
how do you like the quality and variety?]



Lunch lady


At 12:30 yesterday afternoon, I promptly arrived with teriyaki chicken and rice in hand for Jax and I's lunch date.
I had seen him just two days prior, but in the last 48 hours he had grown thousands of centimeters and I was finding myself tilting my head upward to kiss his cheek.

"Mom, thank you for bringing me this awesome lunch!!!  
I don't really like the food they serve here.  
It's a lot of fish and yucky stuff I won't eat.
I always wish you were the cook in the lunch room, 
because then I would eat everything on my plate.  
You are the best cook in the world mom."

Ahhhhh...my plan has worked!!!
Make them love and miss you through their stomachs!!!

T'was one of the best "motherhood" compliments I have ever had :)




Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What I'm listening to


Crazy
from Royal Bliss*

I love songs that bands write about being on the road and missing their families.
I assume this song was written for the lead singer's child.
Makes me miss my own lil crazy boy

*Royal Bliss is from Utah.
They ROCK the house in concert.
WOOT WOOT shout out to a kick ass Utah band!!!!

The mirror image


They (meaning me) say that what you don't like about another person,
is that in which we despise in our own selves.
The mirror image is always staring back at you.
So with that being said,
" When I look at you, I see PERFECTION!!!! 
and I love, love, love you all!!!!!!"
:)

[my own self motivational speech]

The dog dayz of summer



Auntie E's dog, Ms. Pattie, posed for her annual photo shoot with her summer haircut.
Poor Pat.....her head looks like it's a triangle floating on a different dog's body.  
And the pompom 'Cindy Lou Hoo" tail is supposed to redeem this fashion faux pas of 
'shaved to the nubs'?
Well, I think if anyone besides Britney Spears and Shinead O'Connor,
 Pattie can pull off this look.......
especially since she's is spending her summer at Dr. Seuss camp.




Daisy on the other hand, plans to spend the summer relaxing.
Every afternoon around 3, she makes her way to the back porch with a good book and a refreshing glass of Chardonnay.
With a tug of the rope, she dings her 'filler-up' bell, and I come running with ice cubes and an uncorked bottle.
'A little for Daisy.......a splash for me......
a little for Daisy.......a swig for me'
Before I know it, we are both asleep sitting straight up with the sunshine blanketing us!
We wake ourselves with slobber, 
arm twitches and a back throat snore.

Ahhhhhh.......life is good :)


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Reincarnation


Randy texted me this picture along with the explanation,
"Every time I see this old pic in the Kennecott training center,
 it reminds me of you"

I assume he's talking about the gal with the wild hair
 sitting on the back of the train car,
that is not exuding any work effort.


It's gotta be that one!!!


Everyone knows that I am just along for the fun ride......


Monday, May 21, 2012

Best of all worlds


Last weekend was designated as the 
"Can the dads keep the kids alive?" adventure-a-thon.
Randy, Jay and Derek bravely loaded up the kids and drug the rigs to Powell.
Or is it loaded up the rigs and drug the kids???
Either way, they all made it there and back home without a hospital visit.
[I really don't like this amount of 'hooking on' to the back of the truck!  I went into a deep meditation as they pulled away just praying for their traveling safety]









The kiddos had a great time!!!!



The daddos had a relaxing time.


And anytime in Lake Powell is the best of all worlds!



Magic wand




The 80's called........


 

and told me to bring back Rocker Chick hair!!!!!





I am really looooooving the oval hair wand that I bought.

Nothing like big hair to make me feel 15 again!!!!
Well, except for pegged Levi Strauss jeans, black eyeliner, truancy, air guitar, smoking in the boys room, and Guns N Roses! 

ahhhhhh.....the good ol' days :)







Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Le Frenchie

Sometimes you meet people 
and without advanced warning, 
your life is changed forever......
You only hope that your heart is open and your spirit is available to receive the experience and the greatness of this kind of opportunity.

This is the story of Yann.
My brother from the other side of the world 
but who will forever reside in my soul.



Yann was immediately recognizable as a foreigner.
His English was hard to understand, and in turn, he was confused by the tour guide's questions.
Elise's motherly instinct kicked in and took him under her wing.
I remember her asking him right away, "Where are you from?".
After that initial question, we found out that he was from France, his name was Yann 
(pronounced Yawn) 
and he was on a year long life adventure to travel the world.
A few bits and pieces of information regarding life, family,  and his experiences of sleeping in hostels was relayed  back and forth.
Unfortunately, the language barrier was too grand to gap deeper communications.
Elise continued her momma duties by making sure that Yann was not left alone on the tours.  She worked her way into bossing him around and thinking she could be his interpreter.
Apparently Yann likes to be told what to do, because he presented Elise with a hand made praline from the Oak Alley plantation.
"A gift for ju"
he said as he laid it in her hand.

HOOK, LINE AND STINKER!!!!

He won her heart and he would forever be her adopted son and in our family for the rest of our lives!
(All it takes is chocolate or wine, and Elise is putty in your hands)

As we were parting ways at the end of the day, Elise offered her phone number to Yann and invited him to have a place to stay and relax if  Arizona was along his travels.

Two weeks later, and 'RING, RING!'
"Hello Elise, this is your French friend Yann.  
Can I come stay at your home for a day?"

One week after the call, she was picking him up from the Greyhound bus station.
He stayed one night at Elise's home, and visited Chelise's home for a night.
They called me and told of what an amazing time they were having and I told them that they HAD to send him my way.....

"Why not?" Yann replied.

A few emails and texts between Yann and I for arrangements, and two weeks later I was picking him up in downtown SLC!!!!!!

I arrived at 11:30 Friday to share lunch with Yann at the Market Street Grill.
I was impressed by his huge improvement of speaking and understanding English since our first meeting in NOLA.
With a little help of vast hand gestures, precise words, and Google translate, we UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER!!!!
Our communication became easier as each minute passed and as we learned each others humor.
Laughter is an international language :)

Yann is a fireman in France.  He is not married nor has children.  He sold his apartment, car and most valuables to prepare for his year of traveling the world.  His schedule is 3 months in the US, 3 months in Canada, and 3 months in Japan.
He started his trip in London then flew to NYC.  He purchased an unlimited Greyhound pass to get him around the US.  Utah was like his 10th stop at this point, and he is just in the beginning of his adventure.
[He is infatuated with the old west stories of America and had hopes of seeing a real cowboy gunfight!  He has been sorely disappointed that he has only witnessed actors dressed as cowboys with toy guns!]


After a great lunch of salad, bread and coffee, we took the walking adventure to the Salt Lake LDS Temple.
Yann had many questions about the Mormon culture.  He was in awe by the beauty of the Temple and the grounds.  We happened on a shitload of photo shoots and wedding parties.  I'm pretty sure you can see us in the back ground of random wedding pictures, hunched over and dodging the lens!

Yann was beside himself when he learned of NO:
coffee,
tobacco,
alcohol,
gambling,
and sex before marriage
in the LDS religion.

He couldn't understand why anyone would want to deny themselves of these 'sinful' pleasures.  
Europe would collapse without living by this list!!!!
[Yann lives by no religion yet he is very interested in learning about all religions]
After more touring of the city, we came to my house to relax with a glass of wine......
I guess just thinking of a life without alcohol made us both shaky and  needed a fix STAT!

Then I remembered I had kids!!!
Oh yes!!!!  I have a son that needs to be retrieved from school!!!!
"Hurry Yann!!!  
Get in car.
We go get River."

"I look forward to meet River 
[he pronounces the 'i' as a long vowel]
and Rrrandy and Jox."

Immediately, there was a bond between Yann and River in their first hand shake.



The four of us [Riv, Yann, me and Daisy] walked around Daybreak lake and enjoyed the sunshine and and Yann's experience of a Utah community.  He was impressed with so many active people and families exercising together.


 We talked of the American way of life with big houses, overindulgence in food, and everything being on a fast pace.



France encourages relaxing and enjoying the moment.
They do not allow excessive work hours.  You must take care of yourself in all aspects.
Yann was dreaming of playing his guitar next to the lake while lounging.
[He often takes his guitar to a park and plays. 
 People try to give him money and he gives it back to them,
"Please no pay me.  
I play for my own pleasure.  
I hope you find pleasure in my play too."]

We finished our walk and decided it was time for a drink and a game of pool at the local sports bar.
I ordered us a 'Shock Top' beer and headed for the game room.
Yann grabs my arm and said, 
"I hope you ready to lose!" 
and backed his statement with a look of competitiveness.
THIS FRENCHMAN HAS NO IDEA WHO HE IS DEALING WITH!!!!!
I am competitive at some things to a fault.....I will go down in blood and tears proving I have the upper hand!!!
I said back to him,
"Well, you will win only because I let you win!"
We laughed and both put on our game faces!

He kicked my ass hardcore!

But he was very patient and kind to River and allowed him to win a couple of games.
[Yann went to the bar to buy us a 2nd beer and the waitress handed him a menu.  Yann said, 
"No thank you. I not hungry."  
The waitress handed it back to him and said that he must order food.  Yann replied, 
"I no undertand.  I no hungry.  Thank you."
The waitress explained that when ordering a second drink, Utah law states that you have to have food accompanying the alcohol.
He came back to our table with beer, a basket of chips and a perplexed look on his face.  He said, 
"Utah make you eat with a drink?  I respect law, but I think stupid law. I not hungry so I get chips just for law.  If I have 3 beer I have to buy a steak dinner? They make you too full to drink alcohol"  LOL!]





The above picture is one of my favorite captured moments.
My new soul brother playing guitar with my son......
be still my heart!
There were many times throughout their time together that made me imagine that these would have been the same type of experiences River and Damon would have shared.



Randy came home from work and the two met for the first time.
Randy was smitten and this was the start of  their 'bromance'
[Yann has this effect on all people.  He is appreciative of EVERYTHING you do for him, and is respectful of each individual.]
They shared a glass of bourbon together and talked of Yann's travels.



 Lisa came to for a visit later that evening.
They have a love of wine and running marathons in common.



Saturday morning we took a drive to Park City.



I had hopes to ride the zip line and Alpine slide.
Unfortunately neither were open for the season so we walked main street and had lunch at Wasatch pub.







Yann was thrilled to see the Olympic ski jumps and flags.
The afternoon went by quickly, and we needed to make our way back to the valley for a BBQ/birthday party at 5:30.
[poor Yann.....we kept him so busy.]




It was lil Ryann's 5th birthday that we were celebrating.



I was beyond proud to introduce my family of friends to Yann.
Everyone was so good to him.
I could see that he was taking it all in.
He enjoyed watching the inner workings of everyone's relationship.
He fit right in and was comfortable in engaging.
[He bought a bottle of very nice French wine as a gift to the hostess]




 Derek and Lisa's daughter Grace, is learning French in her class.  Yann and Grace spent time talking about brown horses. 
[The words that Grace knows best in French]
It was so damn cute!!!!!


Derek grilled up some awesome beer brats, bbq chicken and vegetables.



Lisa is a wonderful baker.
The Sim's family was inviting and gracious to our foreigner friend.
Great food, drink and laughter was shared between all of us.

A reservation was awaiting us at the piano bar for 9:00 pm.
We scooped up Frenchie and was on our way to Keys On Main for a night of music and MORE celebration.




Irish car bombs* were ordered continually with a 'salute' before drinking each one.
* Guinness beer mixed with a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream




Jay, Lyns and Moi
[you know these peeps]




Marilyn and Brian
[Yann called Brian 'Hercules God' because of his strong jaw]




Singing, dancing and crazy fun ensued.


That is, until Derek spilled my beer in my purse 
[I know it was totally on purpose!] 
and so I took my orange and threw it at his face.  
He was blinded in the right eye by citrus juice for the rest of the evening!!! 
 I say it was deserving.




Super yummy girl shots that make a person say,
"HEY OOOOOOOO!!!!!"





Jay's famous camera 'alone time'.

We closed down the bar with one last dance and sing a long to my most fav country song, "friends in low places".
[I say this with all sarcasm!  You know I despise this song!]

It was a day of PERFECTION with my loved ones.


The next morning Yann woke a little red eyed, and was looking forward to some 'sucks juice'.
[he kept saying American coffee is sucks juice, meaning weak]



Being Mother's Day, we met with the Brown family for a delicious brunch at the Porcupine Grill.
[Yann posted this picture on his Facebook.  His French friends asked if had had married into a large Mormon family and if Randy was his father-in-law and Boss of the family ranch! LOL!]


Next on our agenda was to ride the tram at Snowbird.  
Yet again, it wasn't open for the season, so we made the best of  our time by watching the skiers fly to the bottom of the run.
The scenery was so beautiful that enjoying the sunshine and nature was more than fulfilling.


This would be our last night with Yann.  His Greyhound was leaving the next day for Kansas and we were all emotional about the anticipated departure.
I couldn't quit crying and had to apologize for being such a boob.
I explained to Yann that it was the anniversary of my brother's death, and that being around Yann made me miss him terribly.
I felt like Damon sent him to me on this weekend to show me and my family a glimpse of what having a brother and an uncle would have been like.

He said,
"I understand.  
My eyes see in your eyes.  
I see your soul.  
It ok to cry.  It ok. 
I understand."

He then picked up his guitar and sang 'No woman no cry' by Bob Marley to me.
I sank into a puddle of tears full of deep appreciation.

It was my new soul brother that helped me live a piece of my blood brother....
even if just for a weekend.



I call Yann 'The traveling angel'.
He has changed my life by bringing beauty, culture, kindness, compassion, and peace to my home.




Please do not fear the unknown.
We must trust people, and our own gut instincts to help, love, and welcome our unknown brothers and sisters in to our life.
Opening our home and heart to good people,
 only brings great gifts that we could have never imagined.

Au revoir Frenchie
merci