NOLA Chapter 5....The End

This would be our last full day in New Orleans.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend it, then touring plantations.

I had been waiting to take this tour for 10 years!

[Chelise and Elise went on the tour for their first time 10 years ago.  They told of all the amazing history and beauty.  

We couldn't wait to share the experience together]

Our 'Limo" bus arrived at 10 am to load us all up.

This was an unexpected treat!!!

WOO WOO!

There was a wrap around lounger, stripper pole, stereo system,  mini bar, mirrors on the ceiling, and rope lighting all throughout.

This funbus-limo-skank-it-up-mobile  was

bow chica wow wow 

straight out of the early 90's!!!

And we would be passengers for the next (on and off) 7 hours!

[Chelise became the entertainment commity chairperson.  

Elected by default since there were no other candidates in the running. 

She informed all guests that she would be DJ for the afternoon, 

and if they were lucky she would become pole dancer by eve.]

Our plantation tour consisted of two plantations for $95.

Our first stop:

Oak Alley

Named Oak Alley because of the quarter mile of 300 year old Virginia Live Oaks.  There are 28 oaks in two equal rows spaced 80 feet apart leading to the river on the opposite end of the house.

The largest of the oaks has a girth of 30 feet and a 127-foot spread of limbs.

Long steel poles are used to assist the tree in holding it's own weight.

The 'Big House' 

(which is what it is called being that there were many houses on the plantation: 

The Overseer's House, the House for  the Garconnieres, and the slave quarters.)

This house was a gift from Jacques Telesphore Roman, a wealthy Creole sugar planter, to his bride Celina.  It was constructed primarily by slave labor and took three years to complete.

There are many doors along the patio.  They are strategically thought out and positioned for the river's breeze to flow through.  They are all very tall, yet narrow. The small door knobs are closer to the bottom.  The average height of a person in the early 1800's was a little over 5' with a small frame.

Hence, the daintiness of the fixtures.

This is a Punkah fan [I believe that was the name, although I'm not totally sure] that hangs over the dining table.

The canvas at the bottom pushes the air as the rope attached to the wood frame is pulled to move the fan back and forth.

The rope would have been pulled by a slave.

Please watch as Elise demonstrates.

She is a slave to many things, 

and is used to hard non-paid work.

She did the job without error.

Do you know how the 'Table Spoon' came about???

Well, let me just tell you then.

Cutlery was made of pure silver.

The larger the silver spoon next to the dinnerware,

 the more influence (money) your family has.

There will be a quiz at the end of this chapter.....

just to make sure you are paying attention.

I found the 'prayer chair' at the foot of the bed interesting.

 Beds were made of moss and horse hair.

[OMG!! Can you imagine the smell?? 

And we thought sleeping with our farty dudes was bad! 

A sheet 'dutch oven' aint got nuthin on this!

 Try sleeping with horse shit hair and swamp plant! 
uck!! 
great....now I'm all itchy just thinking about it.]
The slaves would spend hours each day rolling out the bed with the big rolling pin that detached from the headboard.

Homes were not built with the kitchen inside.  

Kitchens were positioned off premises due to fire hazards.

Also a little known fact:  

After a week in NOLA your arms get as fat as the Oak tree branches.

Luckily we are standing by a huge Sugar Kettle that will maybe distract peoples eyes from the arm and boobage weight gain.

[oh dear Lord.  help me!]

The Sugar Kettles were made of cast iron and were vital to the process of making molasses and crystallized sugar.

These days, they make beautiful planters and mini water ponds for lily pads.

The plantation is in the process of rebuilding the slave quarters at Oak Alley.

The construction will use the same materials, techniques and style as used in the original.

I couldn't get over the plaque that named all the slaves, their children, and their worth in dollars.

Wow.  It leaves me speechless.

BTW: Since you can't see the rest of the plaque, I should let you know that the house slaves were worth the most.  

Some of the field slaves were only worth $20.

At the bottom of the plaque were the slave definitions of their race.

You just know that to have Mulatto/Mulattress children, one of the 'whities'  had their way with a Negress slave.

I would assume that the slave would be at fault for that one too.

Can you even believe we lived like this??

Owned people.

Dehumanized.

Put prices on their head.

This is part of my son's heritage.

How do you explain that to a young boy who is confused by life anyway?

We all made it back to the stripper mobile, and headed to plantation #2.

The Laura Plantation

This continues to be a working cane plantation.

The hand grooved wooden joists with wood pegs are still what holds this house above the ground.

Again, all done with slave labor.

Back in the day....a man would propose marriage to a woman by giving her a bling-ed out hand held fan.

If she opens the fan and waves it to her face, then she accepts.

[I think that's how the story goes.

 I was starting to get a lil sleepy....

I think I tuned out for a minute as my brain took a nappie and my eyes were glazed open.  

Must have been the strong mint juleps we drank at the last plantation.]

You can feel a weird energy in this place.

Maybe it's because we heard the tale of a young girl (16) who died while they were trying to medically treat her for acne.  

The girl's mother could not accept her death.  

She hung her daughter's picture above a mantel in the main room of the home.  

She never left that room for the rest of her life (40 years).

So yah, a little creepy!

There are still 18 slave shacks located on the property.

We weren't able to tour the grounds because a HUGE rain/thunder/lightning storm came rolling in.

[notice the dark clouds in the picture]

The drops were the size of quarters and drenched our clothing within seconds.

The ride home on the skank-stank bus was real fun after that!

We were all wet, cold and the escape hatch on the top of the bus leaked!!!!

Water sporadically poured down on the people sitting on each side of the roof window.

Chelise was one of the victims.  

She spent the rest of 1 1/2 hours riding like potato bug all curled up in a ball.

The rain laid inches of water on the freeway.

People were pulled off to the side hoping to wait out storm.

BUT NOT US!!!

NO SIReeeBOB!!

We were taking that whore bus all the way regardless of how much water we had to navigate through or wear.

There were times I was wondering if we were in the midst of some kind of Katrina round 2.

Apparently, these kind of storms happen ALL the time!

FREAKY TEAKY I tell ya!

This gave Chelise the opportunity she had been waiting for all week long!!!

The girl was determined to use her pocket poncho on this trip 

AT LEAST ONCE!

[you really can only use it once because you can never get it back in the package!!!]

Successful!!!

"Look at me!! I'm a full body condom!"

Elise and I enjoy an umbrella.

We don't do cellophane.

And now we all are prepared and READY!!!!

Bring on those rain drops bitch!

We decided to have our last moments reminiscing the week at our favorite little dive.

I Heart Igor's!!!

yup!!!!

Looking like hood-rats shows that we totally fit in and belong there!

We are inducted into the Igor's hall of fame now and forever as,

"the best lookin gals in the bar!"

[yes, standards are VERY low at Igor's.]

Nola Day 5~Humbled, thankful, in awe of the week, grateful for my life's experiences, and adolescently screaming,

"NO!! I'M NOT GOING HOME!!!!

Just one more day...PLEEEEEEZ!!

We were in the taxi to depart to the airport by 7:30 am the next morning.

It's always painful for me to have to rip my arms off of  Chelise and Elise.

Leaving NOLA and leaving my girls behind was the first tearful low point that I had experienced that entire week.

We gave our loves and goodbyes, 

and vowed to keep each other and NOLA in our hearts.......

until we return again.

The End


**Psych!!!! I was teasing about the cutlery quiz.
***This book WILL NOT be made into a movie....
well, unless Meryl Streep, Drew Barrymore, and J-WoW agree to sign the contract that I sent to their agents.


Read prior chapters:
Nola Chapter 4
Nola Chapter 3
Nola Chapter 2
Nola Chapter 1
Nola Introduction