NOLA Chapter 3

This Chapter is short and sweet, kind of like the deener on this funky no hand man statue.

Our grandiose agenda for this day was to take the three hour lunch tour on the famous Natchez.  

It's the only steam powered river boat left on the Mississippi.

Unfortunately, the dumbass Final Four A-Holes* booked it for the next two days!

Scratch the Natchez off our list!

(that kind of sounds like something that needs Vagisil cream)

*I  know that I continue to bash the Final Four Basketball event.

For the record.....

I have no issues with basketball or the people who love it.  

I have found it entertaining at times myself.

What I am bitching about, is the amount of people (a lot of tall ugly ones) that swarmed the streets and made things difficult for us to catch the trolleys, walk the streets, and ride the effin Natchez because of the Final Four!!!

We walked along Woldenberg Park which butts up against the Mississippi River.

It's lined with nice grass, beer carts, a paved bike trail, drunks laying under magnolia trees, hippies toking up and passing it in the round, and girls in bikinis 'free love' dancing to the sounds of Blondie playing live in the nearby pavilion.  

I loved it!!! LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it!

 It reminded me of San Francisco. 

If there were a sign hanging above this area, it would say,

"Come as you are.  Everyone welcome.  Everyone accepted.  

The only law:  Show love and peace to your neighbor."

The  contrast of the old world French Quarter buildings 

(short multi-colored to the right) 

and the skyline of the newer business skyscrapers, is extreme. 

 I guess there is no way to gradually merge a city built in the 1700's with modern day 21st century architecture.

As you can see by the plethora of pictures, I was totally stoked to see Jax's name all throughout the French Quarter.

Jax Brewery was once the brewing and bottling house of Jax Beer from 1891 until the mid 1970's.  They went broke because they served free beer all day long.  Today the brewery has been converted into nationally known stores, a museum, restaurants, and an art gallery.

What's a girl to do if you have to scratch your Natchez off  the agenda???

A GIRL GOES SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

For a Southern Belle  hat to shade her beautiful face from the rays of the dreadful sun..

oh my!

[I say in my best Southern drawl, 

which also sounds a bit Asian and Hispanic 

combined.

I've never been good at accents...

I just put them all together....

we all are a melting pot anyway!!

Am I right or am I right ninja amigo???]

This girl goes  DRINKING!!!!!!

And this girl shops, drinks AND eats!!!!

We call her the triple threat!

We walked around the beautiful Jackson Square admiring the gardens, the statue of Andrew Jackson,  and the view of  St. Louis Cathedral.

We watched an entire wedding party led by the bride and groom, who were just married at the Cathedral, walk the streets in a jamboree. 

Blaring trumpets, twirling white handkerchiefs, bobbing lace umbrellas, and police escorts took up the cobbled streets in celebration.

It was awesome!!!!

We felt very privy to be in the right place at the right time to see the spectacle.  

A store clerk standing near us said with annoyance,

"oh.....another New Orleans wedding" 

Apparently this kind of thing happens often.  

But for us, it was a once in a lifetime event.

Once again, we were thirsty and needed a rest after walking 500 miles and then walking 500 more...and so on.

We came upon a bar that looked rich with dark wood.  As we walked in I noticed gentlemen sitting on this L-shaped wall seat smoking cigars.  I said to Chelise very quietly, "shit, is this a gentlemen's club or something?"  Acting like we are suave and know exactly WTF we are doing, we slink up to the bar.  It quickly  took a cross dressing video,  ONLY men in the bar sitting close to each other not afraid to share manhood space, and some nakee sailor pictures on the wall for me to go ,"Oh yes, I see it now.....we are in a gay bar".  I'm not sure why the rainbow flags hanging outside didn't clue me in immediately??!!!  

a duhhhhhh a duhhhhhh a duhhhhhh

We swig our drink and mosey on.

Chelise and I started talking about some of the issues*  that were going on during our stay at the gay bar, and Elise turns to us wide eyed and said, "we were in a gay bar?!?!?"

Looking past the obvious......

It's genetic people.  

It has to be.

*A girl came in not wearing anything from the waist up, but body paint.  She was soliciting some kind of tattoo shop with the name and address paint brushed across her nips.  It became an issue because the gay bar peeps didn't want her in there "trashing" up the joint. LOL!

We had hoped to keep the amp-ed up energy pumping until dusk so we could stay in the French Quarter area and listen to some Jazz bands in bars that we heard the locals frequent.

That hope became a big NO when our faces started to hang as low as our boobies and our feet were dragging ass.

 We were exhausted!!!

We caught a cab back to the Garden district, ate dinner, and chillaxed for a few hours in front of the tv.

And then.......

ROUND 43!!!!!

Chelise and I threw on our shoes and made our way to our fav little dive bar, Igors.

We laughed with the locals and enjoyed the warm night air sitting on the patio.

I was starting to get pretty familiar with Igor's....

 and apparently, I was starting to look like a local myself because I was able to direct a stranger to Igor's laundromat.

"yes sir, go straight past the karaoke stand, pass the beer bar, ignore the jukebox, you will come upon the pool tables....and to the right you'll see the washers."

Only in New Orleans do you get good drinks, good food and a laundromat all in the same 100 square foot area!!!!!!

Nola Day 3~Scratching my Natchez.

Starting to feel like a Southerner.